Christmas in the Wilds (2021)

Director: Justin G. Dyck

Writer(s): Neal Kimmel
Starring: Kaitlyn Leeb, Laura Vandervoort, Victor Zinck Jr., Melinda Shankar

Well, well, well, I should have known I would end up jinxing us: After mentioning how many Christmas movies were above average this year, we started running into a couple snags. And that streak continues with Christmas in the Wilds, an adventure movie without action, and a romance movie without any actual romance.

Imagine Mr. Magoo trying to direct a movie, and that’s about what you end up with here: It’s a bumbling mess of a movie that tries to do too much and ends up accomplishing nothing. There’s not much in the way of humor, leaving the whole atmosphere just feeling dry and lifeless, kind of like the male lead. By the midway point, my wife turned to me and asked, “Are we supposed to be cheering for these people?” which is an excellent question that I had no idea how to accurately answer; a question that gets even harder to fathom by the end.

All this failure is a double-shame, considering it stars the usually-reliable Kaitlyn Leeb as Jessica, a woman who is going to meet her boyfriend’s family for the first time. Well, of course it’s not his entire family, because his father passed away. You see, having a relative be dead is the perfect way to avoid having to come up with any sort of heart-tugging backstory; death = automatic sadness. It's a shortcut these writers seem to fall back on with more and more frequency every year.

Anyway, her boyfriend is Buck, a man just about as unattractive as Leeb is stunning, which already gets things off on the wrong foot. He is a forest ranger, and one who’s known far and wide for his bravery and know-how. He’s also a pilot, because why not? Oh, and another thing you should know: his ex-girlfriend, Meg, is a former colleague, also because why not? AND he never told Jessica about working so close to his ex-colleague. Because...you guessed it: why not?

Even though Christmas plays a minor role in this garbage, our story actually starts around Thanksgiving, when Buck receives word, from Meg no less, that a huge storm is threatening their area, and they could use an extra set of hands to help with potential injuries. He assures Jessica it will only be temporary, and then leaves her there alone with his family, despite the fact his mom isn't really feeling her.

“A few days” turns into “a few more days”, which turns into “a couple weeks”, which turns into "a month". It’s now Christmas Eve: Buck finally starts to head home to Jessica, but needs to refuel his plane, and conveniently the roads are shut down from a terrible storm, even though the weather in every scene is mild, at best. At first, the two would-be lovers plan on seeing each other on New Years instead…until Jessica gets a wild idea: Instead of waiting for him to come home, why doesn’t she go to meet him instead? Buck likes the idea, and agrees to meet her halfway via snowmobile, taking his ex-girlfriend with him as a guide, in a decision that’s one of many that will leave you questioning whether the writers were concussed, or sniffing inhalants during the writing process. 

Halfway to the halfway point (?) of her journey, Jessica loses control of her Jeep on an icy patch, getting it stuck in a snowbank off the side of the road. Unable to get it out, she stumbles on the house of a black man dressed as Santa Claus, who is getting ready for the town’s Christmas parade (?). His truck is being worked on, so he’s unable to offer her a ride, but what he does happen to have are sled dogs. Yes, for real. And even more insane: He lets her “borrow” them without so much as a second thought, and without even testing her abilities to control them.

So Jessica sets out with the man’s sled dogs to make the remainder of the trek to Buck’s location. She finally tracks them down, just in time to see them getting cozy together next to a fire, which starts the obligatory argument between the two. Buck assures her nothing has happened between them, and finally gets her to trust him…just as one of the sled dogs gets its leg stuck in an old fox trap. That’ll teach Black Santa to hand his dogs out to any rando who asks to borrow them next time!

Buck suggests that the three of them head to the cabin together, probably hoping for a threesome, but that idea is quashed by Jessica, who exclaims “She’s coming with us?!” Thankfully, the would-be homewrecker senses she’s not wanted, and offers to head back to the base, taking the wounded sled dog with her to get it some much-needed treatment.

And we’re supposed to be cheering for this stupid primate, who is too ignorant to realize that inviting his ex-girlfriend to what was supposed to be an intimate one-on-one getaway to a cozy cottage with his current girlfriend, is a big no-no? And, even more unforgivable, Jessica not only tolerates this behavior, but is still somehow enamored with him? Holy mother of fuck. 

Unfortunately the trek isn’t quite over yet: The only way to get to the cabin is to cross a treacherous, raging creek. Somehow, the 100 pound woman has no issues crossing, but the large gorilla man gets swept away by the current, finally managing to pull himself out of the freezing-cold water several hundred feet downstream. Jessica helps him get out, where he tosses his wet and freezing clothes away, and then they finally make it to the cabin where he’s able to warm up, and put on the ugliest, most ill-fitting fucking pajamas imaginable. 

A reminder: This isn't some couple who's been together for years and have a deep, undying love for each other: This is a couple that has only been together for “a few” months. Essentially, these are just two people who barely know each other, going through more than most married couples would do, just to give each other the most unromantic peck on the lips in movie history at the end. 

I think this is all supposed to show the great lengths two lovers will go to reunite, even in the face of danger, but it's closer in appearance to "the lengths two highly desperate people will go to just to have something to live for." There's not one moment of one scene anywhere that's even borderline romantic: I think Buck would fuck his job before he would get intimate with Jessica, as that's all the hideous beast will talk about the entire time. It's like fate is a magnet that 

I rate these haphazard movies on an “entertainment rating” scale, which is different from the ratings I give to “normal” movies. Usually, a movie like this - where one unconvincing thing happens right after another - would score relatively high, because watching a mess like that is the very definition of entertaining. But this one just…isn’t. Kaitlyn Leeb is always cute in whatever role she’s in, but aside from being likable, she still comes off as a complete moron. Who’s going to go to these great lengths just to see some unattractive baboon after six months of dating? 

If you like watching love stories totally devoid of any emotion whatsoever, and enjoy movies where you cheer against seeing the two leads getting together - even though you know they will - you might enjoy this one. However, I’m in both camps, and this was still a raging waste of my time. 

Fuck. 

RANDOM OBSERVATIONS

• How in the fuck does Buck keep the meteorite rock that Jessica gives him, which he then eventually proposes with? It’s in the pocket of his coat, which gets soaked in water after he falls in, and that he removes outside in a bid to stay warm. Or maybe it was in his backpack, which gets swept away by a current and is never recovered. Then, he somehow has it in the pocket of the ugly pajamas he puts on. Great awareness saving that fucking worthless rock.
• I didn’t even touch on Buck’s PTSD from fighting in the war, which crops up when Meg starts a snowmobile (something he equates with bombs going off even though he rode one himself earlier), and the howling of wolves (which would remind him of…what, the whistling sound of incoming bombs? I don’t fucking know.)
• Astonishingly, this is a sequel to Romance in the Wilds, in which the same two leads play the same characters, only they get stuck in a forest wildfire. I’m sure there’s plenty of “romance” to go around in that one, too.
• I also haven’t mentioned Roma, a girl apparently named after a tomato, which is Buck’s sister, and whom Jessica entrusts to watch her dog despite Roma’s aversion to dogs. She even gets a sidestory, in which she searches for her one true love: A soldier who went MIA in Afghanistan.
• I'm still at a loss for words how Justin G. Dyck goes from directing several sappy love-fests, to directing the solid horror film Anything for Jackson, and then immediately goes back to directing another series of these insipid gag-fests. That guy clearly has some talent, and it's being squandered on this junk. 

ENTERTAINMENT RATING: 1/10

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Christmas Capsules: Christmas With a Prince (2018)

Director: Justin G. Dyck
Writers: Keith Cooper
Starring: Kaitlyn Leeb, Nick Hounslow, Josh Dean, and Melinda Shankar

Kaitlyn Leeb must be a terrible person; at least, that’s what I assume. Maybe she kicks dogs, or accidentally ran over a child with her car while drunk several years back. Or shot a cop. I don’t know, but she must have done something, and it must have been so heinously bad that it justifies keeping a naturally attractive and talented actress confined to a lifetime of short-term TV jobs and holiday movies.

She’s that rare type of actress—at least within the realm of cheesy holiday movies—that can just brighten a scene up with just her smile. But she’s a true double threat, because beyond that, she can actually act; that's a rare commodity in this subgenre, where the actors are either good-looking, or can act. There aren't many actresses that I can't take my eyes off of when they're on screen, but she is one of them (although, as much as I'd like to say I want to see her in more of these for my own personal benefit, I wouldn't wish that upon anyone's career).

Here she plays Dr. Tasha, a pediatrician whose main concern in life are the kids under her care (and, in true Hallmark form, to a completely annoying degree). But through a random series of events, she finds herself taking care of Prince Alexander, a prince (surprise!) who breaks his leg in a ski accident. Rather than take him to a typical hospital, which will be swarming with paparazzi, the royal family decides to send him to Dr. Tasha’s establishment, as the two of them were childhood friends who went their own separate ways after a disagreement. Uh oh, no way this well thought out plan could spell trouble!

Despite some good chemistry between the leads, this one is a dud for a rather surprising reason: everyone else is a piece of shit in one way or another. Seriously, I don’t recall another cast of characters that frequently pissed me off so much. Yes, of course the mean ones all do a complete 180 and change their tunes around by the end of the movie, but that still means about three-quarters of the movie are filled with people that you don’t really even want to see.

There’s Dr. Tasha’s boss, a black woman (because there’s an unwritten rule that you must specify race if not white) who clearly puts profits above the lives of children in her care; she’s terrible for obvious reasons already, but is actually so heartless and evil that she would be better suited as an action movie villain. Then, there’s the prince’s dad, who of course is an entitled piece of crap who uses his pull to basically force Dr. Tasha into caring for his son. Even the characters that aren’t mean are nearly unbearable: Jeff, Dr. Tasha’s best friend, is the obligatory over-the-top comedian who forcefully jabs jokes in your face until you just want to smash his against a wall. His eventual love interest is Bella, an always-angry young woman who basically functions as the prince’s spokesperson/bodyguard, and who spends half the movie in hysterics wondering where the prince has gone, or getting jealous that Dr. Tasha is getting close with him. It’s like a collection of characters that you would never want to spend even a minute with, and the filmmakers thought you would want to have as your best friends.

It's the chemistry between the two leads that carry this one as far as it goes; unfortunately, it’s the writing that ultimately prevents it from spreading its wings, keeping it grounded and never giving it even the remotest of chances to take off. At least the romance is largely the main focus, which isn’t the case with a lot of holiday movies we’ve seen recently, so if you’re part of the old-fashioned crowd who just wants to see two people fall in love, this would be a good option for you. If, however, you actually want to enjoy the time you spend watching two people fall in love, look somewhere else, in a land far, far away.

STRAY OBSERVATIONS

• Kaitlyn Leeb just might be the most attractive Lifetime/Hallmark actress in existence; she also might be the most talented.
• She goes from being inconsolably angry to forgivable pretty quick.
• Why does the "sudden fiancé" have to be a plot point at all and, in this case, why is she so unattractive?
• This one gives us not only one example of the “pretend to hate this man but secretly am attracted to him” trope, but two! (Bella also does the same with Jeff).
• One formula that doesn’t typically work for movies in general, but especially not holiday ones: Having an entire cast of unlikable characters (outside of the two leads).

RATING: 4/10

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CHRISTMAS CAPSULES: Hometown Holiday (2018)

Director: Justin G. Dyck
Writer: Amanda McNeice, based on the novel by Caro Carson
Starring: Sarah Troyer, Bradley Hamilton, Kevin McGarry, and Samantha Gracie

It happens every year: I forget a movie almost immediately after watching it. Most of the time, it’s because it’s instantly forgettable; sometimes, it’s just because I’m either tired, or have a lot on my mind. Hometown Holiday is such a movie, and it’s because it’s instantly forgettable.

The set-up of the movie is pretty weird, as it features a well-known country singer character, who is not the main love interest. Instead, it’s the agent trying to sign him to a lucrative deal (for both parties), who has traveled all the way from L.A. to a remote village in the hopes of getting him to sign his life away. That, along with the female side of the equation—one of two sisters who slowly falls head over heels with the talent agent, instead of the sister who knew the country singer back in high school—makes for a rather bizarre story.

At any rate, the first half of this schmaltzy crapfest is actually okay, with the unique story angle a nice change of pace. I actually felt like it was somewhat unpredictable—like we were watching the side stories of the characters in the millions of other “Country Christmas” movies where the “small town” country star is the one who falls for some beautiful woman that he used to know way back in the day, but whom he fell out of touch with (usually for a reason that’s his fault), and whom he must win back by writing an emotional song for, which he then performs in front of a large group of people to confess his love for said woman. Refreshingly, all that is kept to a minimum.

Unfortunately, the second half is just a rage-inducing mess that really is just frustrating beyond all measure. It’s like the characters are slipped a “retard” pill and completely act out of character just to fancy the whims of the poorly-written script. Because, of course, there has to be some drama, and this one has two instances of rather far-reaching drama: she gets upset because she finds out that he lied to her about being a rancher (no one knows he’s an agent from L.A. at first). But then—later on—we discover she wants to return to musical theater, a fact she keeps from him…that makes it seem like she’s just every other fame-hungry whore he’s ever dated. Come on peeps! Some communication would go a long way to eliminating these bad mix-ups!

And don’t even get me on the painful side story involving the agent and his girlfriend (who midway through becomes “ex” girlfriend), a fame-obsessed woman who constantly berates him for not sending in headshots like he promised, and leaves him for an older Asian man just because he will. Her scenes, I think, are meant to be over-the-top in a comedic way, but they’re actually “over-the-top” in a “I want to jump into the TV set and punch her in the face before jumping back out, breaking my TV with a hammer, and then throwing it out of a third story window” kind of way. I mean, it’s not like this movie really builds up much momentum to ruin it, but these scenes certainly deflate what little it does manage to save.

In one bright spot, thankfully, the main cast is good: Sarah Troyer (as Krista) has a natural beauty that creeps up on you—either that, or maybe the makeup artists did a better job understanding her face as the movie went on. Either way, I have to shallowly admit I was very disappointed in her casting choice in the beginning (“Ugh, couldn’t they have gotten someone hot if I have to stare at them for 90 minutes?!”) but by the end, she completely won me over in the looks department (her "too angelic for words" character, on the other hand, is another story altogether). Bradley Hamilton, as agent Ryan Rourke, meanwhile, has an understated “coolness” that works well for the part. He reminds me of a younger Josh Hartnett; not in looks, but in the cool, nonchalant way he delivers his lines. I suppose many may find his performance a little too one-note, or “bored”; I thought it was a unique interpretation of a popular L.A. agent, without resorting to the over-the-top antics that most of the characters in these movies would force on you (“Look at me, I’m popular and a douchebag and wearing sunglasses, and that’s how you know I’m supposed to be from L.A.!”)

Unfortunately, while separately they deliver solid performances, there really isn’t much chemistry between them; I think I’d believe them more as brother and sister than as two lovers meant to be together.

In the end, despite the star's best efforts, this one’s ultimately another dud; I don’t think it’s on par with some of the worst holiday shtick we’ve ever seen, but it’s got more in common with those than anything that I’d consider “good”.

STRAY OBSERVATIONS

• Wait, didn't Krista inherit a family farm? How does she have time for, like, three different jobs and 10 different hobbies?
• In one scene so confusing that it almost comes off as brilliant, Ryan calls Krista after a disagreement, and then 30 seconds later claims he’s busy and that he has to go, as if she interrupted him.
•  The side story involving his headshot-obsessed girlfriend is as cringeworthy as they come.
•  So Krista was so popular in New York that fame “swallowed her up”, yet no one knows who she is, she doesn't feel the need to mention it until way later on, and she's so nervous in the teeny town of Buttfuck, New Jersey (or wherever this thing takes place) that she initially fails miserably?
• Note during the “party” scene, where the country star takes a kid’s drink away from him in order to put him to bed, and places it right next to four pre-filled cups of fruit punch that are untouched and available for people to take.
• Speaking of rage-inducing: That’s so fucking hilarious that the pregnant woman has such bad food cravings that she gets sidetracked in mid-thought; the "pussywhipped husband who supports his pregnant wife for fear of her sudden emotional outbursts" is also carried to vomit-inducing extremes here. 
• Have the writers ever actually seen a countryside, or met someone who owned a horse, in person before?
• Kids in these movies are almost always annoying. The one here is a little less so than most, but they're always the worst actors and usually impossibly ugly, yet people pretend like they're just the greatest little shits ever.

OVERALL RATING: 4.5/10

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CHRISTMAS CAPSULES: Christmas Catch (2018)

Director: Justin G. Dyck
Writer: Patrick McBrearty
Starring: Emily Alatalo, Andrew Bushell, Franco Lo Presti, and Genelle Williams

It’s the holiday season, which means it’s about time to decorate the tree, listen to festive music, drink hot chocolate, and of course, cuddle up in front of the television to watch some horrible Christmas movies! Which one would get the honors of kicking off the 2020 season for us? It was a rather lengthy process, but we decided to skip the more popular recent releases to find one that sounded so absolutely awful that it had a greater chance of dampening our Christmas spirit, rather than heightening it.

And that one we settled on was Christmas Catch, about a rather inept female police detective nicknamed Mack (short for McKenzie), who is literally ordered by the FBI to date a man suspected of stealing a valuable jewel (when was this story written, the 1920’s?) Considering she’s desperate for Mr. Right (we’re talking “desperate” to a level almost unmatched by any other Christmas movie character in history), she revels at the chance—but then starts to question her motives when she genuinely falls for him. Much of the common holiday romance hijinx ensue in a story that should be mostly familiar to anyone who’s ever seen one.

But Christmas Catch does have a couple tricks up its yuletide sleeve, including a twist that I admit caught me totally off guard, and that briefly takes the material into Lifetime mystery territory. It’s also notable for allowing two main characters of the opposite sex to just be friends: in this case it’s Mack and her partner Reid, an attractive, straight male whom she is forced to live with while they stake out the suspected diamond bandit. Not once are there ever romantic overtures from either, which is both unexpected and refreshing.

The performances are pretty good overall: Emily Alatalo has acting chops to match her looks, and dominates the picture as Mack, the bumbling detective-turned-dater. While much of her performance is standard fare, she does have a couple of emotional breakdowns toward the end that are startlingly  realistic; so much so that they almost feel out of place in an otherwise silly, lighthearted romp. Yanic Truesdale, who many may remember as Michel Gerard, the hotel owner from a little show called “Gilmore Girls”, also deserves some praise, delivering a noteworthy performance within a limited amount of screentime.

It’s not all snowshowers and rainbows, though: Captain Bennett, who is Mack’s boss, also happens to be her mother. She is one of those insufferable mother characters so pervasive in these movies; so nosey in her daughter’s life that it becomes creepy. The movie also milks jokes about Mack’s hapless dating life well beyond the point of normalcy; it doesn’t ever come off as cruel (mainly because she’s a good sport about the ribbing), but it’s a pretty redundant topic for the first half-hour that thankfully dies down once the story gets rolling. And Genelle Williams (as FBI Special Agent Robertson) is completely miscast, failing to deliver the grit and confidence that her character requires.

However, Christmas Catch actually defies those odds to become an above-average example of the genre: it’s charming enough to overcome most of its faults, tweaks the predictability formula enough to include some genuine surprises, and actually features some genuinely funny moments. It takes longer to get going than it should, but once it does, it’s a solid example of the "holiday cheese" subgenre.

RATING: 6/10

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SIDE NOTE OF PERTINENT INTEREST TO ME: The director of this, who's filmography reads like he's the son of the president of Hallmark, has completely broken mold, crafting a horror movie titled Anything for Jackson, about a Satanist couple who try to bring back their dead son...with horrifying consequences. Just tossing that out there, in case there are fellow lovers (or avid haters) of cheesy romance movies that also happen to love the horror genre.

CHRISTMAS CAPSULES: Christmas Wedding Planner (2017)

Okay, it's probably unfair to even rate this, considering we only made it about ten minutes in before we canceled our Netflix subscription, smashed our television set, and gouged out our eyes to prevent ourselves from ever having to witness something so cruel and unusual again; don't consider this a “review” so much as a warning.

This is awful. It's the kind of movie that thinks all it takes to make people laugh are to have two characters run into each other, something that honestly happens three times in the small window of time we were watching. It's the kind of movie that somehow wants to overcome you with holiday cheer, yet throws in characters so despicable that you want to murder them. Of course, I'm sure by the end said characters realize the errors of their ways and make a complete 180, but you shouldn't make your movie feel like an obstacle course to get that far.

It's a shame, too, because lead Jocelyn Hudon is beautiful—one of the cutest girls I've ever seen in a schmaltzy holiday role--but is completely lost amongst the schticky acting and tired story. In this, Hudon is Kelsey, an up-and-coming wedding planner whose first job is also her biggest: Planning her cousin's extravagant wedding. But when she runs into a slightly attractive mega-douche Connor (who even has the douchiest name imaginable!), her world is overturned. Well, not at first, because they hate each other, but something tells me the spirit of Christmas will help change their tune! 

Lots of Disney-grade acting (in the defense of those, they are for pre-pubescent children), coincidences (oh, the man that bought the last scone at the coffeeshop is the cousin's ex-boyfriend?), and totally illogical scenes follow, such as when Kelsey is tasked with removing the mega-douche from a wedding party, even though the guy seems amicably there by all counts. And it's all within the first ten minutes. The idea that this could go on for almost 9 times that length something that most humans cannot fathom. For die-hard, unassuming fans of this kind of movie only.

RATING: 0.5/10 

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CHRISTMAS CAPSULES: A Puppy for Christmas (2016)

You would think the addition of a dog (or any animal, for that matter) to a sentimental Christmas story would be a guaranteed home run, but leave it up to those fine folks at MarVista to find a way to screw it up.

Noelle is a grown woman who has always been obsessed with the idea of owning a dog, but has never been able to get one, because, you know, dogs are ultra-rare and hard-to-find. Her latest dog-prevention obstacle is that the man she's been seeing for five years, ultra-douche extraordinnaire Todd, is allergic to them—until she learns that some dogs are hypo-allergenic, so she goes out and buys one. Turns out, Todd is not allergic to them, but is afraid of commitment, so he dumps her.

Meanwhile, for being so obsessed with dogs, it turns out Noelle has never actually researched anything about them; she takes the puppy to work with her, apparently thinking they come pre-trained. Of course, the puppy gets into adorable mischief that captures the attention of Liam, the rugged hunk that writes the “Adventure” column for the newspaper. After sleeping in her office overnight since she has nowhere else to go (?) she is caught by Liam, who invites her to his remote house for the weekend. This is perfect timing, because he's awaiting the arrival of his fiance, who no one in his family has ever met, and having the woman you're going to marry come home to you alone with a strange woman is probably a really great idea.

Thankfully, it's not so awkward because his family is there to surprise them with a surprise engagement party! After explaining that Noelle is not his fiance (thank God it at least avoided that trope), the two settle down with family, as Liam's real fiance keeps postponing the trip, eventually making it obvious she's never coming back. Good thing sparks are flying between him and Noelle! But it can't just be that easy—after an incredibly lame party, Todd realizes that he gave up a good gal, and tries to woo her back. Which man will she choose?

Really, it all comes down to the characters: Noelle is annoying as shit, and seems completely mismatched in all facets against the good-looking Liam. There was no part of me that felt they were a good match or wanted them to get together, and that's kind of the whole point of the movie. Then there's the whole point of the dog: I didn't even want it to get stuck with Noelle, who never seems to have any time for it amidst trying to fall in love and screwing up at every turn. Again, she shows no signs of anyone who has ever wanted a dog for a minute, let alone her whole life, as the narrative assures us is the case.

It's watchable by the slimmest of margins, and didn't fill me with the level of holiday rage that some of these movies do, but it's one that both animal lovers, and good movie lovers should skip altogether.

RATING: 3/10

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CHRISTMAS CAPSULES: Christmas With a View (2018)

Clara is the manager of a restaurant in a small town who dreams one day of owning her own. Shane is a “celebrity” chef whose claim to fame is winning a popular cooking show. Of course, instead of moving to LA and taking advantage of his newfound fame, he instead settles down in Clara's small town to try to answer a question that has puzzled him his whole life. Surely sparks must fly, right?

Complicating matters is Clara's sleazy boss, who makes plans of buying a property and making Clara the owner if she helps him to seal the deal. But, of course, Shane's prying only seems like jealousy to Clara (although why a celebrity chef would be jealous of someone else's success doesn't really add up), who pushes him away in order to pursue her dreams. Will she find out the truth about her sleazy boss? Or will she end up giving love away for her own selfish pursuits?

The story weaves its way through increasingly ridiculous twists and turns, mainly thanks to Clara's naivety, and there are more than enough sequences that will make all but the most dire Christmas romance aficianados reach for the “stop” button. But it does benefit from above-average acting (for this type of movie), and very good-looking leads that at least help to take the edge off the annoying story.

Even with the lowered expectations that come along with this type of film, it's not very good, but there's enough there that you should at least be able to finish it; at the very least, would make good background noise for a Christmas party, or other holiday festivities where paying close attention wouldn't be required.

On a side note: Have I been lied to about what a Harlequin novel is? I'm noticing a lot of Christmas movies based off of them lately--this one proudly touts it on the poster--but those novels have the reputation of being sex-filled romps. Are there separate kinds of Harlequin novels, or are these movie cash grabs watering down the source material for family-friendly holiday fun? I'm too lazy to research this, so please feel free to answer in the comments.

RATING: 5/10

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