Director: Amy Holden Jones
Writer: Rita Mae Brown
Starring: Michelle Michaels, Robin Stille, Michael Villella, and Andree Honore
I was in the mood for a horror movie, but also something that was completely mindless...up until a few years ago, I feel like most movies in the genre would have fit that bill. But now that horror movies seem to be gradually rising the ranks from “cult” genre, to one that mainstream audiences are increasingly flocking to, it comes as no surprise that many horror movies are becoming more "complex", in order to cater to the ever-evolving tastes of the theatergoing public.
But there’s one subgenre that will mostly forever remain “mindless”, and that’s the slasher film. There really isn’t much room for cerebral excursions within a structure that mostly just tries to kill as many people as possible within a confined running time. And yet, it’s also shocking just how many movies have failed with that basic premise. You can certainly add Slumber Party Massacre, to the list.
This is a movie I probably wouldn't have even thought of to watch, had I not remembered frequently seeing the cover art as a kid, during my many trips to the local video store. I have to admit, there's just something...fascinating about the combination of scantily-clad women at the mercy of a man wielding a large drill. It encapsulates the entire slasher subgenre better than almost any other singular cover, and it is for that reason the image has always stuck with me.
Trish is a high schooler (who looks 24) looking to throw a big bash while her parents are away. She tries inviting Valerie, the shy new girl, but considering Valerie overheard Trish trying to convince her friends to let her come over, fears that it’s a pity invite, and declines the offer. It doesn’t really matter, though, because the two happen to be next door neighbors, a little fact we don’t learn until later. Meanwhile, a man convicted of murdering five people escapes from prison...and we can already see where this story is headed.
One of the main problems I have is that, despite a couple (lackluster) kills early on, the entire middle of the movie sags under the weight of its poor acting and clunky dialogue. That’s when there’s an attempt to set up a “story” that’s literally as threadbare as they come; there’s also the addition of horny male characters who mostly end up as fodder for the killer. Obviously, I don’t require my horror movies to be Oscar contenders, but they should at least be entertaining; outside of some bad dialogue and unintentional laughs, this one falls well short on almost every front.
Trish is a high schooler (who looks 24) looking to throw a big bash while her parents are away. She tries inviting Valerie, the shy new girl, but considering Valerie overheard Trish trying to convince her friends to let her come over, fears that it’s a pity invite, and declines the offer. It doesn’t really matter, though, because the two happen to be next door neighbors, a little fact we don’t learn until later. Meanwhile, a man convicted of murdering five people escapes from prison...and we can already see where this story is headed.
One of the main problems I have is that, despite a couple (lackluster) kills early on, the entire middle of the movie sags under the weight of its poor acting and clunky dialogue. That’s when there’s an attempt to set up a “story” that’s literally as threadbare as they come; there’s also the addition of horny male characters who mostly end up as fodder for the killer. Obviously, I don’t require my horror movies to be Oscar contenders, but they should at least be entertaining; outside of some bad dialogue and unintentional laughs, this one falls well short on almost every front.
The gore, which should be the main focus in a slasher film, is every bit as uninspired as everything else. There are a couple graphic shots of drill bits exiting victims, but most of the kills leave a lot to the imagination. And that's a big no-no in this type of movie, which should aim to revel in all the yucky details.
I think the most impressive thing is just how unimpressive this whole production is as a whole. The story plays all of its cards early, showing the killer within the first few minutes, thus eliminating the possibility of any tension later on. It even goes one step further by lingering on the unmasked bad guy during the kill scenes, once again throwing out the window the potential for any red herrings or plot twists. It can't even qualify as mindless entertainment; it has the "mindless" part down pat, but very little of it is actually entertaining.
There are a couple minor positives here that prevent it from gaining a big fat goose egg: Despite the lack of tension, I actually thought Michael Villella as the killer is one of the bigger bright spots. Sure, his performance mostly consists of chasing (supposedly) teenaged girls with a large drill while maintaining a stone face, but there are occasional moments where he smiles during the hunt, as if he’s truly having fun. This gives him a rather psychopathic quality missing from other on-screen killers, especially the ones who feel the need to hide behind a mask.
There are the obligatory boobies, which in a film desperate for positives, I guess counts as one. The cast is overall unremarkable, both in looks as well as acting chops, but Robin Steele as Valerie and Andree Honore as Jackie (who looks black but is apparently not) are the two notable exceptions to the rule...thankfully, they each get a good amount of screen time (though only Steele bares her breasts, in an early high school gym shower scene). This would be the first, and most notable, role for Steele, who appeared in a handful of other movies through the ‘80s before the offers dried up; she turned to drinking and ultimately took her own life in 1994, at the age of 34. (Her single sentence obituary that appeared in the L.A. Times is incredibly sad. It was as if she was already forgotten by a world she so desperately wanted to leave a mark on.)
The only other tidbit worthy of note is that this (as well as the first sequel) is one of the few ‘80s horror movies directed by a woman. You can’t really tell it from the story, but the fact that it’s maintained cult status throughout the years in spite of that fact makes it feel like somewhat of a minor triumph, as now female-directed films are all the rage. (And that director is none other than Amy Holden Jones, who has gone on to create the popular medical drama “The Resident”, one of many shows my wife watches on a regular basis. Who’d have thunk it?)
I think the most impressive thing is just how unimpressive this whole production is as a whole. The story plays all of its cards early, showing the killer within the first few minutes, thus eliminating the possibility of any tension later on. It even goes one step further by lingering on the unmasked bad guy during the kill scenes, once again throwing out the window the potential for any red herrings or plot twists. It can't even qualify as mindless entertainment; it has the "mindless" part down pat, but very little of it is actually entertaining.
There are a couple minor positives here that prevent it from gaining a big fat goose egg: Despite the lack of tension, I actually thought Michael Villella as the killer is one of the bigger bright spots. Sure, his performance mostly consists of chasing (supposedly) teenaged girls with a large drill while maintaining a stone face, but there are occasional moments where he smiles during the hunt, as if he’s truly having fun. This gives him a rather psychopathic quality missing from other on-screen killers, especially the ones who feel the need to hide behind a mask.
There are the obligatory boobies, which in a film desperate for positives, I guess counts as one. The cast is overall unremarkable, both in looks as well as acting chops, but Robin Steele as Valerie and Andree Honore as Jackie (who looks black but is apparently not) are the two notable exceptions to the rule...thankfully, they each get a good amount of screen time (though only Steele bares her breasts, in an early high school gym shower scene). This would be the first, and most notable, role for Steele, who appeared in a handful of other movies through the ‘80s before the offers dried up; she turned to drinking and ultimately took her own life in 1994, at the age of 34. (Her single sentence obituary that appeared in the L.A. Times is incredibly sad. It was as if she was already forgotten by a world she so desperately wanted to leave a mark on.)
The only other tidbit worthy of note is that this (as well as the first sequel) is one of the few ‘80s horror movies directed by a woman. You can’t really tell it from the story, but the fact that it’s maintained cult status throughout the years in spite of that fact makes it feel like somewhat of a minor triumph, as now female-directed films are all the rage. (And that director is none other than Amy Holden Jones, who has gone on to create the popular medical drama “The Resident”, one of many shows my wife watches on a regular basis. Who’d have thunk it?)
In the end, though, this is a subpar effort with little redeeming qualities that even devout horror fans would do best to skip.
OVERALL: 2.5/10
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