The Love Witch (2016)

Director: Anna Biller
Writer(s): Biller
Starring: Samantha Robinson, Jeffrey Vincent Parise, Laura Waddell and Gian Keys

There aren’t too many movies like Anna Biller’s The Love Witch, a film that she not only wrote and directed, but also produced, edited, and scored. It’s a rather bizarre comedic throwback to ‘60s horror. So unique is it that it’s rather hard to explain to those who have not been cast under its spell. 

Samantha Robinson is the beautiful Elaine, a witch who doesn’t seem to have much luck with members of the opposite sex, despite her frequent use of love potions and spells. So she kills them, before almost immediately moving on to the next one. She reeks of desperation, falling immediately for man after man and hoping that they will simply return her love and turn her into a housewife.

Unfortunately, Elaine’s witch instincts are rather poor; she often “overdoses” her subjects with spells that are too strong; as a result, they turn from “typical” cold-hearted men, into sappy, oversentimental babies who become too dependent on her. This, we quickly learn, is a turnoff for our protagonist: Even the desperate have their limits, after all.

No one seems to notice her killing spree (when friends ask, she merely tells them that she had to call off the relationship because they were too clingy), allowing her to continue with reckless abandon. There’s a hilarious scene in which she seduces - and then kills - the husband of a close friend while she is out of town, then keeps trying to change the subject when her distraught friend tries to tell her about her husband’s murder. 

Of course, all “good” things must come to an end; soon, she discovers that a police detective is hot on her trail. He is good-looking and confident, the way all men “should” be, which naturally makes him an ideal mate. She manages to seduce him…with unintended results. Is the man tasked with taking her down the man of her dreams? Or will he be just another victim to her ongoing scheme?

What’s refreshing is that this isn’t some cliched story about a woman who’s carrying out premeditated murder. Well, I guess it’s premeditated in that, at some point, she knows she’s going to carry it out, but Elaine goes into each relationship actually hoping that she has just met “the one”. She’s ready to settle down with any man who succumbs to her charms, which is also a reference to the male-dominated world of the ‘60s. 

Where the film gets its charm is from its trippy aesthetic: characters dressed in ‘60s style attire, are surrounded by decor and paraphernalia from the same decade, yet it’s actually set in the present day. Adding to the film’s sense of style are the “theatrical”, stilted performances - done intentionally in yet another homage to the style of the ‘60s - which somehow feels appropriate and is well-executed, although it certainly won’t be to everyone’s taste. 

Robinson is perfectly cast as the sultry seductress. At the risk of sounding shallow (I know, I know, looks aren’t everything) it’s easy to see how she could lure so many men under her spell. She does have a natural presence about her that also puts the viewer under her spell; we cheer for her to find her soulmate, even as it becomes more and more evident that such a man might not exist. She’s charming and likable; even we are willing to overlook her murderous streak, in the hopes that she finds her Mr. Right.

Its sole downfall is that it is painfully overlong, clocking in at exactly two hours. While that might commonly be seen as a minor transgression in most films, it’s a rather large one for a film like this, where the hammy acting and campy style all starts to lose its luster and become rather tedious. If the length felt necessary to fully explore the story, that’s obviously one thing. Yet its plot is simple enough that it easily could have been trimmed of some of its “fat”, without ruining the story or breaking its momentum. It never fully qualifies as “boring”, but it surely comes closer to eliciting that emotional state than it should.

Despite that, I’m certainly recommending The Love Witch to anyone looking for a unique spin on the horror genre; especially those who are typically not fans of such films. Those devoted to the genre might be off-put by the weird style, and lack of focus on the horrific elements (which are often played for lighthearted laughs), but for anyone with an open mind, The Love Witch provides enough character to distinguish itself in an overcrowded genre.

RATING: 6.5/10.

Triangle (2009)

Director: Christopher Smith
Writer(s): Smith
Starring: Melissa George, Joshua McIvor, Jack Taylor and Liam Hemsworth

Look up a list of the best horror movies of the 2000s, and you just might find Triangle amongst other well-known classics. Yet it’s virtually unknown here in the United States, despite a fairly well-known cast (Melissa George is one of those actresses that you might not know her name, but chances are you’ve seen her before; a pre-fame Liam Hemsworth also has a supporting role), and unique storytelling structure. This is mainly because it inexplicably never received a theatrical release in the U.S., despite theatrical runs in the U.K., Belgium and the Netherlands.

I suppose it makes sense that it never reached U.S. shores in theatrical form, because it’s exactly the type of movie that only would have made it to the arthouses: It’s a twisty, sometimes confusing, but always engaging film that defies description. In other words, it's the exact antithesis of American cinema, which tends to require straightforward, linear stories that are neatly tied up by the end. 

In what seems to be the norm for me as of late, it is yet another film where discussing the plot at virtually any length risks spoiling many of the surprises; actually, I would say this film virtually demands you to go in without any former knowledge. 

Melissa George is Jess, an overwhelmed single mother with an autistic child. She clearly needs a break - something that’s painfully evident from the way she handles her son accidentally spilling some paint - and so a getaway on a sailboat with some friends seems to be just the thing she needs to help clear her mind. Only, things aren’t right from the start: she seems dazed and out-of-it from the very beginning…maybe this trip wasn’t so good for her after all.

A few minutes into the groups’ sailboating expedition, a sudden storm seems to come out of nowhere. Far from shore and caught off guard by the inexplicable change in weather, death seems inevitable for the group. That is, until a large ocean liner happens to virtually appear before their very eyes. The stranded group boards the large ship, expecting to find some people that can help them; they are shocked when they discover the vessel is completely abandoned. But Jess’ behavior only gets weirder from there…

Ignore the simple, mundane setup, because Triangle is anything but mundane: Once the story gets going, it’s one virtually unrelenting twist and turn right after the other. I always harp on how many genre films lack originality and are cliched in one way or another, but Triangle is one of the most unpredictable movies I’ve ever seen, with a story that grips you and never lets go. Everything seems resolved within the first 40 minutes, leaving the viewer wondering where the plot can even go for the remaining hour. it seems backed into a corner, with no way out. But not only does it keep chugging along, but it does so without a narrative misstep, or any over-the-top scenes that cast the viewer from its spell.

The “feel” of the film has been compared to the works of David Lynch, but that feels more like a copout than anything else. Why do people always feel the need to lump unique things into categories? It feels like a coping mechanism for critics to deal with something that they can’t fully understand. Triangle has a feel all its own; not once was I reminded of Lynch, or really anyone else for that matter. It has shades of Memento (a film which writer/director Christopher Smith acknowledges was a main influence), but it’s not even content with taking that film’s unique storytelling structure, without deconstructing it and turning it on its head. 

For being a “horror” film, it does manage to touch on some pretty weighty themes, such as the difficulties inherent of raising a special needs child, and how we as humans fall into seemingly unbreakable cycles, to name just a couple. Through one woman’s story, it summarizes a lot about the darker side of human nature; at the risk of offering up a very minor spoiler, I will say it’s certainly not a film for anyone who favors happy endings.

Actually, come to think of it, it’s not a film for anyone looking for an ending, period. I mean, sure, the movie ends, in the way every film has to. In just about the only cliched scene, it even ends the way most films do: with a cut to black and credits rolling across the screen. But, just like the events that precede that, the ending is ambiguous, with even the writer/director himself stating that there is no “right” answer: We are presented with clues, and then formulate our own opinion based around those clues; that’s often the mark of challenging, thoughtful cinema.

And challenging, thoughtful cinema has no place in cinemas here. 

RATING: 9/10

Oxygen (2021)

Director: Alexandre Aja
Writer(s): Christie LeBlanc
Starring: Melanie Laurent, Mathieu Amalric, Malik Zidi and Laura Boujenah

A woman wakes up in a tiny chamber with no recollection of who she is or how she got there in Alexander Aja’s Oxygen, which is a complete 180 from his previous effort, the embarrassingly overrated alligator-attack-during-storm movie, Crawl. 

This one is centered around what could be considered a gimmick: it takes place almost entirely in one setting, with one visible actor (in this case, Melanie Laurent), who wakes up in a confined cryogenic chamber and discovers she has 90 minutes before she runs out of the titular necessity. As if that weren't enough, she also has no idea who she is or how she ended up there. If that sounds like it will be boring to you, it might very well be: there’s really no action to speak of, and it’s definitely not the type of movie that will appeal to fans of blood-soaked action, or those who like their films to have a frenetic pace. 

Now, having literally one actress, in one setting, with no dialogue, would get dull for even the most patient of cinephiles; thankfully, Elizabeth Hansen - the name of our solo protagonist - has one ally in the form of MILO, an advanced AI computer system. Basically Siri on steroids, Liz can use MILO to call people she knows, ask him questions about her past, view her social media accounts, and even to access information about the strange box she finds herself in.

Unsurprisingly, Liz isn’t just content with waiting for her impending doom, so she kills time by looking for a way out, while simultaneously piecing together the story of how she got there in the first place. Little by little, we learn revelations about her as a person, and what led her (or someone else…) to choose this fate for her. Was she a bad person sentenced to die by asphyxiation? A woman who was just in the wrong place at the wrong time? The twists and turns come at a relaxed pace, and don’t really do much to ratchet up the tension, but they’re close enough together to prevent things from getting too boring.

It all plays out like a futuristic version of Buried, that Ryan Reynolds movie that found him buried alive in a coffin with very little oxygen. Whereas that film used close, in-tight shots to maximize the feeling of claustrophobia, Oxygen is shot in such a way that some of the intensity is lost. The room usually feels too wide and open and most shots, it's not until the main character attempts to move that you really see how tight the chamber is, but considering she isn’t mobile very often, it mostly looks a lot bigger than it should. (As a second opinion, my wife is terribly claustrophobic - to the extent she can't ride elevators - and she had no problems making it through this movie.)

Also eliminating some potential for terror: MILO. While he is a computer incapable of human emotions, he is too advanced for the story. I guess it was a necessity to have in order to move the story along, but a lot of it feels like a copout, considering he knows how to do virtually everything Liz requests. 

All of it leads to a rather unsatisfying, ambiguous ending that really didn’t feel all that natural to me. The actual meaning of that final shot - the only one that doesn’t take place in the small pod - is up for grabs, with even the director stating that he doesn’t know exactly what to make of it. While I don’t mind endings like that, other people who like closure or their stories to have a resolution, will probably be frustrated with this one. Especially those who get caught up in the story.

I guess looking back, Oxygen isn’t a horror movie at all, but rather a sci-fi/drama mix. It isn’t interested in exploiting the claustrophobic setting, which also makes one wonder why they even centered the story around it in the first place. But what it lacks in tension, it makes up for in dramatics, with a story that frequently attempts to tug on the heartstrings, rather than increasing the viewer's heart rate. One could certainly be forgiven - and let down - for assuming the contrary, with director Alexandre Aja having made a name for himself within the horror genre, with efforts like High Tension, and the aforementioned Crawl. 

The film’s biggest strength is Melanie Laurent, as Elizabeth Hansen. She imbues her character with vulnerability, and covers a wide range of expressions and a frequent shifting of mindsets with seemingly relative ease. Thanks to her, the story comes off as believable - and interesting - when it just as easily could have been an absolute failure. 

If you’re into slow-burn movies, Oxygen might give you something to like. It’s a minimalist film that makes decent use of a single, tight setting, and an excellent performance from Melanie Laurent. But if you aren't interested in character stories or talking, then you should probably give this one a pass. 

RATING: 5.5/10.

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Final Destination (2000)

Director: James Wong

Writer(s): Wong, Glen Morgan and Jeffrey Reddick

Starring: Devon Sawa, Ali Larter, Kerr Smith and Kristen Cloke

Aaaah, Final Destination: One of those “classic” teen horror films, and arguably the first one of the new millennium. Even as a teen myself during those years, I was never interested in the mainstream (I’m still not), and so - despite the popularity and being a part of its target demographic - I had no problems ignoring it until the buzz died down.

However, there is one person that’s capable of melting my cinematic snobbery: my wife. So when she revealed that it was one of her favorite horror movies (she was a whopping 11 years old when it came out, although I think she watched it one or two years later), I set aside my superiority complex, and decided to lower my expectations to that of the commoners (this is all in jest, in case that part's not coming through).

I’m late to the party, so describing the plot seems unnecessary at this point; I’ll just deliver a truncated version: Devon Sawa sees strange visions of people dying, and attempts to save his friends from meeting their ultimate fate. It all starts on a plane, when he has a rather lucid “dream” that the plane will go down, and that there will be no survivors. He creates a scene, gets off the plane, and gets a few other students kicked off with him. Sure enough, moments after takeoff, the plane explodes, killing all 280-something on board. 

His uncanny accuracy catches the attention of the FBI who, naturally, see him as a person of interest. Their interest in him only grows, as he starts to piece things together: since the students who exited the plane cheated death, death comes after them, one by one, in the order they were sitting on the plane. And when he appears at every crime scene - only trying to help the victims - their mounting case seems to be more and more foolproof. 

Can Devon (obviously not his name in the movie) save them all before it’s too late? Or will death have the last laugh? I think we all know the answer to that one.

Really, this is one of those ideas that is brilliant and ludicrous, both at the same time. I mean, as far as slashers go, having basically an unseen, supernatural force offing people is actually pretty refreshing, as there’s no cliched villain to hate; its characters are up against “fate”, a natural part of death’s design. But that’s also where it’s a little ridiculous, after after a modicum of thought: if it’s really time for these people to die, then why does death offer them enough clues to avoid it? 

Unsurprisingly, given the target demographic, the rest of the movie is bundled in cliches, and its structure only makes it easier to tell who’s going to live and die. But working in its favor is that it’s not always clear when or how: there is one death in particular that caught me completely off guard (even though I’m pretty sure it was in the marketing for it). 

Some of the characters are also interesting, namely the FBI agents tasked with keeping an eye on Devon. At first, they think he might be behind the killings, which would be natural given his propensity for being at virtually every crime scene. But gradually, and against all logic, they start believing him, much to their own chagrin. It’s a welcome change from the norm, where the police have to be hotheads who constantly hound the protagonist, only believing them when faced with clear evidence that exonerates them (and even then, usually reluctant to believe it).

Aside from a couple variations, it’s basically your typical exercise in teen horror, but the mostly likable cast and characters make it easy to root for them. The death scenes are also pretty well done, and while not all of them are bloody, they are gruesome (and drawn out) enough to appease most slasher fans.

It’s not a classic horror film, but it may very well be a classic of teen horror, that watered-down subgenre made to appeal to the masses. Sure, it carries an "R" rating, but there's really nothing here that's going to scar anyone for life, or that's going to make anyone but the most squeamish of people look away. I’m not sure I’m all that interested in experiencing the entire five-film series - I can't fathom how they would change things up enough to keep it fresh - but this is a worthy, above-average exercise in teen horror.

RATING: 6/10

NOTE: I would be remiss if I didn't mention the co-writers of this, Glen Morgan and James Wong, previously worked on the second season of "Millennium", the vastly underrated, criminally underseen television series helmed by Chris "X-Files" Carter. It's not available on any streaming services, and has seemingly dropped through the cracks, but any fan of bleak crime dramas should hunt it down. It's a series well ahead of its time.

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We Summon the Darkness (2019)

Director: Marc Meyers
Writer(s): Alan Trezza
Starring: Alexandra Daddario, Keean Johnson, Maddie Hasson, and Amy Forsyth

We Summon the Darkness is yet another movie that prevents me from going into much detail about the plot, without the possibility of ruining a key plot twist that - admittedly - isn’t entirely unforeseen. However, the marketing details intentionally go out of their way to avoid mentioning it, so I will respect their wishes and do the same.

Alexis and Val are two heavy metal-obsessed gals who take a third, Bev, under their wing. The three of them travel the city, attending music concerts. During one gig, they bump into three boys at the same show; there’s undeniable sparks between a couple of them. So the girls decide to host an afterparty at Alexis’ dad’s house, which the boys agree to attend…and that’s when all hell breaks loose.

Oh, and perhaps I should mention that there have been a string of satanic-themed murders gripping the town; the body count is up to 18, and leaving the community stricken with terror. Of course, this will play a role at some point. (While this is also left out of marketing materials, this isn’t really a spoiler since it’s mentioned within the first five minutes.)

Plot twist aside, We Summon the Darkness is woefully predictable and average in just about every regard, with a feeling of deja vu permeating every scene; there’s nothing here that anyone with any experience in horror hasn’t seen before. Since the "big reveal" is disclosed somewhere around the half-hour mark (maybe a little sooner), the filmmakers play their entire hand early, then let the film slowly run out of gas the rest of the way. That being said, there are some appropriately gushy gore sequences that should manage to satiate fans of that kind of thing, at least for a short while. I would definitely consider myself among the ranks of such fans, but the blood - while bountiful - wasn’t frequent enough to completely hold my attention.

The acting is pretty good across the board, but the real surprise is Alexandra Daddario as Alexis. I first saw her in an episode of “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” and let’s just say, to see her is virtually to fall in love with her. She has a unique look, one that stands out from the rest of Hollywood sameness, yet is captivating nonetheless. Here, she really gets to flex her acting muscles in an unexpected way, and I have to say that it caught me off guard. I expected a more subdued effort - the way big name actors always seem to approach horror films - but she clearly gives it her all, with impressive results. She still has the safety net of a horror movie with comedic elements (where solid acting is never a requirement), but her performance would feel just as home in an exercise in pure horror. Johnny Knoxville is also good, but in a much more muted role. Who knew he could act in genre fare?

Unfortunately, any momentum it manages to create is completely undone by its fervent monotony. What is it with horror films these days retreading each other in such uninspired fashion? I suppose it’s not just an epidemic limited to the horror genre, but it’s a disappointing state of affairs for cinema in general. I would chalk it up as a result of the pandemic - where people are just happy to go out and see anything, since they couldn’t for the longest time - but this was actually made in 2019, before that was even a thing. We should honestly be demanding more out of our movies besides the same ol' thing.

If you’re a die-hard fan of Daddario, I would say there’s enough here to justify a watch, especially if you’re also a fan of the horror genre. However, just about everyone else should probably take a pass…Netflix’s library is too expansive to waste your time on below-average efforts like this.

RATING: 4.5/10

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Night Teeth (2021)

Director: Adam Randall
Writer(s): Brent Dillon
Starring: Jorge Lendeborg Jr., Debby Ryan, Lucy Fry and Raul Castillo

Boy, Debby Ryan must really be desperate to shed her former Disney-star image: First, she starred in the TV-MA rated TV series “Insatiable” as a wannabe beauty pageant contestant who’s taken under the wing of a former lawyer-turned-pageant-coach. Sure, the series was more on the comedic side, but there was certainly more raunchiness than one would expect out of a former child/teen star.

Also one who might still feel in need of an image-shedding is Lucy Fry, who got her start in shows like “Alien Surf Girls” and the endearingly awful “Mako Mermaids” before moving on to more adult fare like “Wolf Creek”. Still, it would be believable that a child who entered the limelight at a young age might feel as though that shadow is following them around, ready to pigeonhole or sideline them at any time. It's no wonder many end up trying to shed that "goody two shoes" image.

Well, the two have teamed up as vampires in the Netflix-original Night Teeth, which actually bares the slightly less-adult TV-14 rating. But don’t let that rating fool you: while there’s barely any blood, and no real sexual situations to speak of, there’s a lot of adult language, which singlehandedly should have been enough to push it into TV-MA territory. Can they help pull this Netflix-produced film up from the realm of mediocrity? 

Benny is a wannabe music producer who lives at home with his grandma. He seems to have big dreams, but without the motivation to follow up on them (I know his plight all too well). His older brother, Jay, stops home for a visit; he runs what appears to be an Uber-style business, offering rides to upscale clients. One of his workers has called in sick, putting a scheduled ride in jeopardy. Benny offers to fill the role. At first, his brother is hesitant, but eventually relents.

His task appears to be simple: drive two girls around for an entire night. Jay lays out the ground rules: don’t talk to them, leave them alone, and then collect what should be a big tip at the end. It sounds easy enough, but as we know from watching one too many horror movies, it can never be that simple. As it turns out, the two girls are Blaire and Zoe (Ryan and Fry, respectively), two girls who request Benny to drive them to a series of parties. All he has to do is wait in the car for them, and drive on to the next one. Still sounds pretty easy, right? Well, of course it doesn’t quite go down that way - especially not after he learns his two ride companions are vampires looking to overthrow an evil leader, and Benny’s own brother is a vampire hunter who wants to exterminate them all.

Night Teeth is competently made, which of course is to be expected given that it’s a Netflix production. It has plenty of style, a likable cast, and is imbued with a generous helping of humor, most of which actually manages to be more funny than annoying. The problem is that it’s enveloped in such an unengaging story that somehow manages to be both too basic, and too complex, for its own good. In other words, there’s a pretty straightforward path from point A to point B, but it takes the scenic route, throwing in unnecessary characters and plot twists until it almost becomes confusing. 

Of course, confusing plots can be a plus, but not in the type of movie where it’s all clearly just supposed to be mindless fun. And, it's not good in a movie with so little payoff besides the happy ending that we could all see coming from a mile away (mild spoiler alert, I guess, but you can't say you didn't already expect it).

Then there’s all the obligatory plot devices: the romance that blooms between Blaire and Benny; the showdown with the final boss; the random inclusion of Megan Fox in a teeny, pointless role; it all plays out in completely predictable fashion over the course of its bloated 107 minutes. 

Aside from the cast, and the stylish visuals, there’s really not much here to recommend; it’s especially not worth sitting down and completely investing your time in it. But if you’re just looking for a Halloween movie to throw on while you carve pumpkins, or bake Halloween cookies - something you can just pop in and check on from time-to-time - then this is as good a background movie as you’re going to find. You might get a little confused by the plot, but trust me: you’re not missing anything.

RATING: 5/10

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There's Someone Inside Your House (2021)

Director: Patrick Brice
Writer(s): Henry Gayden, from a novel by Stephanie Perkins
Starring: Sydney Park, Theodore Pellerin, Asjha Cooper, and Dale Whibley

If there is one thing my 37 years on this earth has taught me, it's that there's nothing worse than a horror movie with no characters to root for. Or maybe it’s that the worst thing in a slasher film is a tired explanation of the killer and their motivation for killing. Or maybe it’s a movie where all the characters are so dumb they might be considered “clinically retarded”. So, which one is it? It doesn’t matter, because There’s Someone Inside Your House has all three.

The foundation of There’s Someone Inside Your House is a bland “by-the-numbers” plot that you’ve seen before: someone is killing high school students who harbor deep, dark secrets. Okay, well, that’s basic, but with every simple idea comes a lot of wiggle room for writers to improvise and make it their own. I mean look at all the classic films of any genre: chances are they took an existing, familiar plot, but eschewed expectations by delivering a dash of originality.

So, what are the unique twists that There’s Someone Inside Your House adds to the tired formula? Absolutely nothing. That’s literally the entire plot. The individual plights of the characters are the only things that are filled in (and even they feel contrived and pointless).

It all centers on Makana, a girl who’s running away from her past and trying to move on after a terrible incident at a previous school. She moves to a different state with her “gam” (grandma), changes her last name to her mother’s maiden name, and hopes for a fresh start. Despite this, she knows that her secret - and the truth - could be revealed with a simple Google search…aaaah, the joys of the internet.

Meanwhile, several other classmates around her are being killed off, one-by-one, each one protecting an incident that they don’t want anyone else to know about. During most kills, the killer sends out texts to the entire student body (who all seem to have their phones in their hands at all times) showing the reasons that person is being targeted. Then, they swoop in and finish off their victim, who somehow always ends up alone no matter how many other people were around them just a few seconds prior. It’s lazy writing at its laziest.

Anyway, Makana knows that her time is coming, but how can she escape the grasp of a killer hellbent on destroying her? And just who is the person committing these heinous acts of terror? Is it Ollie, the creepy boy that everyone assumes is a sociopath, yet with whom Makana is having a fling? Is it someone in her close-knit group of mismatched friends? Is it one of many other people who are made to look suspicious at one point or another? Really, in the end, it doesn’t matter, because the vast majority of viewers will probably turn it off before making it that far.

The only genuinely unique twist is that the killer prints off masks of its victims (I’m trying to avoid eliminating suspects based on gender), which they use while killing. The idea that the last thing a person sees before dying is their own face is the stuff nightmares are made of. While it is a cool addition, it still feels wasted here, because the filmmakers seem unwilling to flesh it out any further; the idea that it’s caught in a horror film with comedic aspects also eliminates some of the genuine terror that could have been derived from such an idea.  

At the end of the day, all we’re left with is a movie that aspires to be just that: a movie. It exists only because Netflix is willing to throw large amounts of money at seemingly any idea that they feel can build (or at least maintain) their subscriber base. Maybe that’s what’s most frustrating of all: In all their virtually endless resources, they have the power to put unique, boundary-pushing films on their platform, giving a voice to talented filmmakers who would otherwise go unnoticed in the hustle and bustle of Hollywood. They can do whatever they want…and this is the type of project that they see potential in? Someone looked at this script and thought they had a winner on their hands?

God help us all.

RATING: 2/10.

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