Writer(s): Paula Rahn
Starring: Beverley Mitchell, Catherine Mary Stewart, Kelaiah Guiel, and Michael Dickson
I gotta be honest here: neither of us
were really feeling a viewing of Rock n’ Roll Christmas (aka A Christmas Comeback), for a
variety of reasons, not the least of which was seeing Beverley
Mitchell in a leading romantic role. I mean, come on, was no one
else available? Haylie Duff went straight to voicemail? Lacey Chabert
wouldn’t return messages? I think it’s safe to say her peak was
“7th Heaven” all those years ago (which, let’s be
honest, wasn’t really that big of a peak to begin with). There was
also the focus on music, something my wife and I tend to enjoy—and
considering these movies destroy almost everything they touch, we
knew there was little chance this was going to turn out well. But you
know what? Sometimes, these are the risks you gotta take in life, and
there's always the chance it could defy expectations and turn out
better than you had hoped. (And sometimes you just get sick of
looking through holiday movies for five minutes and just want to move
on with life).
Unfortunately, this one turned out
almost exactly as we were expecting. Beverley plays Ashlyn Rose, who
is one-half of an old country band known as The Roses, along with her
mother, Bonnie. Of course, they had a falling out at the peak of
their fame (during which they sold 22 million records), and now
refuse to talk to each other. Long story short, to prevent the
boredom we endured, their relationship has since faltered. Meanwhile,
Bonnie’s manager—who has clearly loved her for years--organizes a
surprise reunion (apparently they both believed they would be playing
a solo gig), where they suck up their feelings for one another and
put on a show for the paying crowd. This show goes viral, leading the
pair to accept a lucrative contract to create a 3 song Christmas
EP—two covers and one original track. They get the hottest producer
in the field, who seems oddly available to help them at any given
moment and for however long they need, to produce their tracks. Uh
oh, he’s conveniently Ashlyn’s age, and used to listen to all her
music! Can’t see where this is headed!
Complicating matters (or maybe easing
them in this case) is Ashlyn's teenaged daughter Riley, who keeps
urging her mother to make amends with Bonnie so that they can be a
family again. This whole angle is pretty unconvincing, considering
the feud was so intense, that Bonnie never even met her own
granddaughter who, as a reminder, is now a teenager. I'd be pretty
pissed off if my grandma never thought I was at least worth a visit
over the complete span of my existence, but then again, I'm a living
and breathing person and not some cardboard Christmas caricature. Of
course, everything ends up “happy” in the end...only it's the
movie's definition of that term, because you'll be cheering against half these characters, who don't deserve half of what they end up with.
The
“off-puttingness” (for lack of a better, existing term) of the
female leads are a shame because the men are actually really well
cast, especially Michael Dickson as Bonnie’s manager, Bret. He has
a suave charm about him, although it’s hard to see what he sees in
a woman that’s so cold she won’t even meet her own granddaughter
just because of a little parental angst. Meanwhile, Ashlyn is so
boring in all facets that it's rather unbelievable a “hot”
producer—who probably has single and available tail throwing
themselves at him daily—would even take a second glance at her,
especially as she rambles on about being a single mom with a daughter
(who, young age aside, would actually probably be a better fit for
him considering she seems more exciting and has more personality).
Let's get one thing straight: even the
best examples of these movies are bad. Everything is far too
predictable, the characters are all carbon copies of each other (to
some degree), and storylines are all too neatly wrapped up.
Obviously, that's the whole appeal: people want to be able to get
lost in all the saccharine happiness, to forget about the drudgeries
of real life for a while.
Unfortunately, the worst examples, like
Rock and Roll Christmas, not only can't help you forget about the
miseries that exist in real life...they actually add to them.
RATING: 2.5/10
TRAILER
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