MARVEL-LESS MARVISTA: Deadly Shores (2018)

Director: Fred Olen Ray
Writer(s): Ray
Starring: Carly Schroeder, Phillip P. Keene, Kristin Minter, and Hedley Harlan

Fred Olen Ray, director of 185 Z-grade movies, in genres ranging from softcore to horror, is one of the last people I would have expected to get suckered into the Lifetime/Hallmark director rotation. And yet he has directed several upbeat comedies for Hallmark’s ongoing series of Christmas movies, as well as a heaping handful of Lifetime shockers, which came right after his softcore porn phase of the early 2010s (?). What he may lack in talent, he more than makes up for in sheer work ethic…regardless of what you think of his movies, you have to at least give him that.

Deadly Shores is one such film from the Lifetime canon, and it fits right in with the director’s previous schlock, both in tone, and in execution: It has the feel of a very low-budget horror film, but without the sex or gore. “What’s the point, then?” you may be thinking.

Good question.

Anna is a woman going to meet her famous author husband, Richard Palmer, for the first time since being married to him (?). She takes a thirty second ferry ride over to the “isolated” island where he lives (later on, her husband uses the excuse that she “must be tired” from the ride over): a sprawling estate complete with a spiral staircase and lighthouse. And, of course, both of those things play into the plotline: the author’s previous wife, who was blind, was lured up the spiral staircase, and then fell to her death down below. Many in the town secretly believe he had her murdered (if he didn’t carry it out himself), but good on Anna for being so desperate for a husband that she doesn’t care about his sordid, potentially murderous past.

Oh, and did I mention Anna is rich? Yeah, there’s the other obvious, crucial element to the puzzle, and the only reason Richard decided to marry her at all: it seems he owes lots of money to some bad people, and with his publisher balking on sending him an advance, he basically just wants a way to fund his endeavors. But of course, he doesn’t plan on keeping her around…he has another woman on the side, Beth, who looks like an old washed-up porn star from the ‘70s, complete with a mouth that seems unable to fully close. This, somehow, is the actual love of his life, and the two concoct a plan to get their hands on her money without raising suspicion, because, as it turns out, when your wife dies under mysterious circumstances, people start to question you and your motives.

Meanwhile, Anna stays oblivious to this little plot against her, even though he never wants to be near her, or touch her, or talk to her; and even as the ‘70s porn star starts spending more and more time over, and with him alone behind closed doors. Umm...was his last wife also this stupid?

Her only “ally” is Mrs. Argyle, Richard’s maid and avid fan of his dead, previous wife. At first, she resents Anna, simply for replacing her, but then gradually starts to warm up to her, especially as Richard’s behavior grows more and more worrisome. As it turns out, she’s had her own suspicions about his involvement in his ex-wife’s murder, and is looking to find out the truth about what happened to her old friend, even though she voluntarily stayed on his payroll and seems completely fine working with the man who might have murdered her former friend, but whatever.

It all builds up to a hilarious finish that could have worked in a better movie, but just comes off as inept here, in which Anna’s own past demons rise to the surface. As it turns out, she might not be as fragile as she appears to be on the outside…

I have to give Deadly Shores some slight credit for being the rare movie where the victim is somehow worth more alive than dead—so here, the point becomes trying NOT to kill her, even though she’s apparently so...killable that it’s very, very hard for the main protagonists not to do. Honestly, Anna is the perfect target, so completely gullible and desperate that she's pretty much willing to overlook everything just to live in a big house and be married to a semi-famous author, so why does Richard even need to plot anything? All he'd really have to do is give her some attention, pretend to like her, and she'd probably sign her entire life savings over to him, and let him do whatever he wants. It certainly wouldn't make for an exciting movie, but then again neither does this one.

Deadly Shores functions best as a clinic on how not to make a movie, with a poor screenplay, bizarrely bad acting (despite having what should be at least a semi-capable cast), and lackadaisical direction the names of the game. That being said, the awfulness is “lighthearted” enough (for lack of a better term) that it never really angers or frustrates—it's so bad you actually feel pity for everyone involved. There are much better “so-bad-they’re-still-bad-but-at-least-entertaining” movies within the MarVista canon, but I haven't encountered one quite like this before, where you just want to hug the entire cast and crew and assure them that everything's going to be all right.

STRAY OBSERVATIONS

-What’s with the ferry captain? He talks to Anna in the beginning, making the author jealous, appears later on to chide Richard behind his back, looks like he might factor into the story in some way, and then never does.
-The acting is on another level of bad: Richard speaks as if they recorded his rehearsals, while Anna gets to showcase her “sad face” a lot toward the end of the movie: I can’t really describe it, but she looks like a woman who was told how to look sad, without ever having actually experienced the emotion herself.
-The bar is pretty packed for being on an isolated island.
-It somehow has the look and feel of a schlocky no-budget ‘80s horror film, which honestly does appeal to my nostalgic side; kudos to Fred for that!
-This movie is from 2018?! It looks like it was made in the early 2000s and then completely forgotten about.
-One of the few MarVista movies I've encountered that doesn't have an alternate title, unless you count Marvista's misspelling of its own movie (referring to it as Deadly Shore, without the final "s") in the YouTube title and info (it appears under the correct title in the actual trailer).

RATING: 3.5/10

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