Writer(s): Winner, from a novel by Jeffery Konvitz
Starring: Chris Sarandon, Christina Raines, Martin Balsam, and John Carradine
I purchased The Sentinel several years ago, and have never
watched it; it’s one of only two movies that I can recall purchasing that I
haven’t watched (the other being Nicolas Roeg’s Two Deaths). I have no idea what made me decide I should
own it, after having never watched it before, but I stumbled on it at a used
store, and decided to buy it.
Over the years, I’ve come close to watching it twice, but
for some reason, I got the intense premonition that this movie was boring each
time, no matter what the blurb on the back of the DVD said (something about
there being enough effects to stay interesting, which is certainly less than
modest praise). Then, when my wife and I
had plans to watch it the other night, something came up, and she had to leave;
I should have taken it as a sign. Instead,
I was an idiot and rescheduled the viewing.
The Sentinel is painfully, awfully boring; a Rosemary’s
Baby knockoff but with tepid acting, and below-average writing. In it, a model moves to a Brooklyn
apartment building, complete with really strange neighbors. But when she tells her realtor about how
they’re preventing her from sleeping, we learn that no one else, save for a
creepy priest, lives there in the building with her! Oh no!
Things start to go downhill for the poor lady; only her boyfriend
(terribly played by Chris Sarandon) believes her, and sets out to find the
truth about the building, and its former inhabitants. What he finds, will shock no one who’s ever
watched more than three horror movies in their lifetime.
The movie’s more well-known for the bevy of familiar faces
than it is the plot, and with good reason: You can find Jeff Goldblum, Beverly
D’Angelo, and Christopher Walken, just to name a few. This is also the first time in a long time I
can remember giving props to the costume designer for their fashion choices: All of the dresses Cristina Raines wears are
beautiful, and are more attention-grabbing than anything else that happens in
the movie (save for a couple gore sequences; neither of which are all that
memorable).
The Sentinel also gets some marks for at least being
entertaining; between the poor acting, stodgy writing, and hilariously awkward
poses and posturing from the actors at certain parts, it’s rife with
unintentional humor. That’s more than I
can give some movies, so they’re just going to have to take it or leave it.
RECAP: A tepid, uninspired film (ironic, considering it was
heavily inspired by Rosemary’s Baby) that is slightly fascinating out of the
gates, and then very quickly loses steam.
The writing and acting range from bad, to terrible (Chris Sarandon, I’m
looking at you), and the story is pretty much standard by-the-numbers
stuff. The only legitimate highlight:
Cristina Raines wears some beautiful dresses; at least costume designer Peggy Farrell was on her game. Other than that, there
are moments of unintentional humor, as well as a couple of average gore
effects, that at least will give you something to do besides be completely
bored out of your skull, but not nearly enough to salvage this mess.
SCORE: 2.5/10
TRAILER
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