Director: John Stimpson
Writer: Stimpson
Starring: Abigail Klein, Ryan Cooper, Caroline Portu, and Will Lyman
The other day we saw Christmas
with a Prince, a movie that was forgettable mainly because everyone outside
of the two main characters were agonizing, for one reason or another. This one
is bad in the opposite direction: the main star is a self-pitying, selfish
little shit who does nothing but focus and talk about her own plights for
almost the entire time. Making it to the end is like experiencing a first date that you
know isn’t going any further, yet you’re too nice to just cut it off early and
run.
That’s too bad, because the rest of the movie has a lot
going for it: a cast of likable characters (outside of the main one), some
genuine humor, and—somehow—even a little bit of chemistry between the two
leads; it would have been interesting to see just how much more there could
have been if the story didn’t consistently interfere with everything else.
Abigail Klein is Courtney, a cute, bubbly blonde who runs an
outdoor ice rink known as “The Oval”. Not too far in, she learns that the mayor
is planning on shutting down the long-standing citywide staple, and she spends
every single minute of the remaining movie reminding us of that. Distracting
her momentarily from how shitty and terrible her life is, she bumps into Noah
Tremblay, a former NHL player for the Toronto Maple Leafs, who immediately
takes a liking to her.
He’s not the only one, though (cue groans here): Noah’s
young daughter, Grace, also takes to the soon-to-be-unemployed rink owner.
Where’s Grace’s mom, you may be wondering (which the nosey little Courtney asks
him, point-blank, on their first date)? (cue somber music) She died! Because
the best way screenwriters have found to evoke pity without actually having to do
anything to earn it, is to have a character’s backstory involve the death of a loved one.
Anyway, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to discover that
these two people end up together in the end…that much everyone knows. The
question here is…how? Maybe even “why?”
How could a romance even bubble up between these two people?
You won’t necessarily be cheering them on because you want them to get
together, but just because you hope she’ll at least be too smitten to think
about her stupid rink being shut down. And why would this man—a good looking
former star who would (presumably) have woman flinging themselves at him—stick
to a woman who’s so one-dimensional that she literally comes across as if she’s
using him, and his status, simply to save her beloved rink? Many of these
movies defy logic, but not all of them take that liberty to such a blood-boiling
degree.
I get that “The Oval” has been around for years and has
sentimental value, and I get that the screenwriters just needed something to “save”, so my issue isn’t
necessarily with the already tired plot retread, so much as how it’s executed.
These kinds of stories can be cute, with the right balance of empathy and
romance; you have to have both characters on board with the same goals, who are
both driven to find a solution.
Here, the only linking factor they have is that Noah just
opened a huge indoor skating facility nearby. (Thankfully she never attacks him
for being the main reason she is being shut down—even though it could be argued
that does play a big role in it—which
is where I thought the story was headed.) And it is completely clear from the
one-sided approach taken by Courtney, that she’s really the only one interested
in saving it at all. Sure, Noah agrees with her and goes along with it—the way
any loving pre-boyfriend would do in this situation—but even his face seems to
register confusion and annoyance that every single conversation they have
always seems to focus on her, and her stupid rink.
This is too bad, because almost everything outside of that
has potential, with a gold award going to Caroline Portu as Beth, Courtney’s
best friend. She is genuinely funny, laid-back, cool, fun, adorable…everything
Courtney is not. Watching her, you can’t help but get the feeling that Christmas On Ice is focusing on the
wrong person entirely: Courtney might make a decent side character, with her
plight taking up little (or no) screentime, but just isn’t interesting, or
two-dimensional enough to make it as the main focus.
Or, maybe even better yet, keep the actors but change the
script. There’s no denying there’s some chemistry between the two leads, on the
rare occasions there’s allowed to be, so why weren’t they given a story that
could focus more on that, rather than a story that focuses on so much self-pity? Why
would the screenwriters make the lead character so unlikable and so
overbearing?
If you’re looking to find a reason to be a Grinch this
holiday season, this is a good place to start.
STRAY OBSERVATIONS
- It seems like the “new wave” of Hallmark movies focus less on the romance angles, and more on the people themselves. Are Hallmark movies yet another thing millennials have ruined?!
- Given how many times Courtney leaves her cashier station in the few moments we see her there, it’s a wonder this place didn’t close down years ago.
- The way Noah says, “Uh…we lost her,” when Courtney asked what happened to Grace’s mother, sounds like she was a toy that fell behind the couch.
- Maybe tone things down a bit so it doesn’t look like all you’re using Noah for is to save the rink you won’t shut up about.
- "Yes dear, I do love you, but how about you use your pull with the mayor to save my rink? Oh, and after that, you want to help me with this fundraiser for my rink? A kiss? No time for that! My rink needs me!"
- That's so sweet how quickly the dead mother's memorial star atop the family Christmas tree is replaced by this stupid woman's new topper.
- Have I mentioned how much I hate kids in these movies?
- I know these movies are supposed to be old-fashioned and simple, but there's no reason to do a fundraiser anywhere but GoFundMe these days.
RATING: 3.5/10
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