In the Tall Grass (2019)

Director: Vincenzo Natali
Writer(s): Natali, from a short story by Stephen King and Joe Hill
Starring: Laysla De Oliveiri, Avery Whitted, Patrick Wilson and Will Buie Jr.

Usually, the movies my wife and I watch are carefully and meticulously chosen, sometimes too much so. We’ll spend several minutes switching between several different streaming services, until we finally find something that tickles our fancy. In a best case scenario, we will choose 3-5 movies and have the other person narrow it down to one. In almost all cases, the process takes way longer than it should. 

In the Tall Grass, however, was different in that it's one of the few movies that we just blindly picked. We knew nothing about it going in, but all it took was one view of the trailer to suck us in.  It's a horror tale written by Stephen King and his son Joe Hill that takes place in the titular setting: A seemingly neverending field of tall grass. 

The plot finds Becky, a pregnant woman who's traveling to San Diego with her nerdy brother, Cal. It is unclear at first why they're traveling such great distance, but becomes one of many revelations throughout the film. They are traveling through the fields of Kansas when Becky starts to feel sick. Naturally, Cal starts the car to give her time to recover. As they’re getting ready to continue their trek, they hear a voice calling out for help from inside the tall weeds. 

It sounds like a young boy who is trapped in there and begging for help. Cal seems slightly unfazed - “annoyed” might be a more appropriate term -  and wants to continue on but Becky decides that they should stay and help. She is pregnant, after all, so presumably the thought of abandoning a child is too much for her. In an effort to find the lost child, they enter the grass.

In case you weren't already clued in, the grass isn't all that it appears to be. It's an almost shape-shifting world that seems to decide the fates of those inside it. If it wants you to find someone, you will find them. If it wants you to get separated from someone, you'll get separated. It’s like it controls the motions and actions of everyone trapped inside. It sounds kind of stupid, but it's pulled off fairly well, for the most part.

It doesn’t take long for things to go awry: Becky and Cal are separated almost immediately, and are unable to find each other. He stumbles onto Tobin, the boy whose cries for help are the ones that lured them out in the first place; he’s a creepy-looking, ominous child who seems to be hiding more than he’s letting on. Meanwhile, Becky stumbles onto Ross, Tobin’s father, who has also been separated from Natalie, his wife. He promises Becky to help her find a way out.

Since this is based on a story co-written by Stephen King, we know things can’t just be this straightforward. As if the setting wasn’t strong enough, we’re introduced to a magical fucking rock that has some sort of weird powers. Alright, whatever. I’m a big fan of ambiguity, which the film already had in spades, so to place some of the outcome of the story on a magical rock just kind of ruined some of the momentum for me. Sure, it’s mysterious, as well, but come on…it’s a magical fucking rock. 

Aside from the setting, the best feature of In the Tall Grass is the way it plays with time: We already know things aren’t what they seem inside the grass, but the scope of it slowly becomes evident. I’ll admit the “twist”, where we start to understand what’s going on, is appropriately trippy and also adds to the cryptic feel. Eventually, it breaks down into a hallucinatory nightmare that reminded me a lot of the excellent horror film The Dark and the Wicked. The line between fantasy and reality blurs, leaving not only the characters confused as to what’s going on, but the viewers as well. 

I’ve not read the short story by King and Hill, but turning any novel into a film is hard work; stretching a short story into a feature length film might be even harder. Personally, I felt like there’s too much going on, especially when the setting itself is strong enough to stand out on its own. It’s like the chef who ruins a perfect dish by adding too many spices. The villain is rather ho-hum and, admittedly, doesn’t really feel necessary to the story; after all, it’s more or less the grass who’s the main antagonist. And by the time the magical rock was introduced, I'll admit I partially lost interest in the story.

It doesn't always entirely work, and it leads up to a predictable and slightly corny finish, but overall, In the Tall Grass makes just enough use of its setting to deliver a creepy enough atmosphere that limps across the finish line. It won't top any lists of noteworthy horror films - not even for the year it was made - but it’s not one that should top your list of regrets.

RATING: 5.5/10

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Bite Size Halloween: Season 1, Part 2 (Hulu)

 

We already took a look at half of the 28 shorts contained in season 1 of Hulu's "Bite Size Halloween", so now it's time to take a look at the remaining ones! To access part 1, please click here.

Clock: This one’s a perfect example of when “original” doesn’t quite translate to “good." A successful businesswoman working late at an office hears noises in a parking garage, and can’t escape said noises after getting in her car. The reveal of the cause of her terror provides one of the funniest moments of the entire season, but it’s let down by an ending that’s neither funny, nor scary. In fact, the message (as I understand it) doesn’t feel at home here at all. And there aren't really many elements of horror. What a disappointment.

Eye Exam: A timid older woman answers an ad for free eye exams. After seeing a man quickly escaping through the waiting room, she begins to suspect something isn’t right…and as it turns out, that is the correct assumption! Another painfully lackluster story that leads to a cliffhanger ending that’s also awful, and the reasoning behind the exams (as well as the monster effects) are awful. Chalk this one up as yet another failure.

Retreat: A woman joins a meditation retreat and starts to believe she has just joined a cult. We can hear her thoughts as she  talks herself through the situation...but we might not be the only ones hearing what's going on inside her head...

This one is helped along somewhat by an attractive lead and some comedy that’s actually funny - a rarity in this collection - but the lack of horror aspects (besides the cult) really kind of bogs it down and makes it feel like it should be in a different collection altogether. Not bad for what it is, though.

Trouble: One thing I noticed about this series is that a lot of the episodes seem to be showcasing the minorities of the film world: Many of these are directed by Black, or female directors. This one is easily one of the more powerful ones, despite its framing within a rather tired setup. A Black musician takes a last-second offer to play piano at a white couple’s wedding…on an actual former plantation. He starts practicing “The Wedding March”, before becoming aware of another presence in the room. This one has all the staples of a movie haunting (thudding door, random sounds, wind blowing through window etc.), but the ending is inspired and packs as close to a punch as anything else in the entire season. One of the rare standout entries.

Costume Change: Absolutely fucking stupid. A kid gets a new pirate costume which he refuses to take off. He takes it out trick-or-treating, but when his parents urge him to take it off, we get a twist ending that’s so fucking stupid my blood was boiling with rage. Also, the kid is ugly. If you’re going to center an episode around a kid, at least get one that can act.

Summoned: A woman attempts to bring back the spirit of her dead love…but ends up bringing back someone different instead. The setup is slightly humorous at first, but even within the miniature runtime, manages to overstay its welcome by dragging its one joke out over and over again. I'll take a pass on this one.

Just kind of adding to a previous comment, this is a perfect example of one of my biggest complaints (you know, besides almost all 28 of them sucking): We have the best episode of the series - and a completely serious one dealing with demons of the past - and it’s bookended between two “funny” ones. So instead of attempting to build on the momentum of that powerful story, the momentum is undone by shitty comedies that completely bomb. 

Special Delivery: A woman picks up a mysterious package, from an older mysterious man, who repeatedly tells her not to open it, leading to predictable results. Final “twist” is a yawner. Another bad episode, and yet another one that strives for laughs instead of scares. I'm really hoping season 2 focuses more on actual horror.

Thirst: Half of the running time of this one is spent reciting the episode’s “rules”: “Don’t sweat, sneeze, spit, or cry; if you spill a drop, you’ll surely die.” This one finds a daughter and her father attempting to navigate a post-apocalyptic universe, while avoiding monsters who attack any sort of water-type liquid. This one is just way too restrictive, and while it’s kind of sad, there’s just not enough time for it to fully develop into any kind of meaningful story. One of the better ones as is, but within the confines of its short duration, it just becomes another example of lost potential.

Old Maid: Sometimes you can tell an episode is going to suck just from the name, and I’ll admit, those were the vibes I got from this one. I was more or less right, although it’s more an average episode rather than an abject failure: A bride with cold feet keeps seeing an “Old Maid” card in the room she has barricaded herself in, and then is attacked by some kind of unseen force (or something…I have to admit I barely remember the specifics of this one). Anyhoo, there’s another “cliffhanger” ending that’s pretty much by-the-books and that doesn’t hit the way it thinks it does. Completely forgettable.

Are we done with these yet? I got some other things I could be doing with this time….

Baby: This one has a bit of potential, I suppose, but - unsurprisingly given the shit before it - it somehow manages to squander it with another completely expected ending. A couple adopt a cat. It takes a liking to the man immediately, but not so much with the woman: it bites her. Slowly, she starts transforming into a cat. Is that a spoiler? I don’t know…it’s hard to fathom anything that’s the length of a movie trailer having the capability to be spoiled in the first place. At any rate, it just reinforces cliched jokes about cats.

This Old House: A Black woman wakes up in her home, only to discover Whities have taken over. There’s a bit more to it than that, but that’s the basic premise. Are we not supposed to know the final “twist” before it happens? It’s blatantly obvious from about the 30-second mark; I was expecting there to be more to it than the bare minimum, but that's all most of these episodes have given us, so I don't know what I was thinking.

First Date: Two women go home together (how progressive!), and one of them ends up scaring the other one away. But we learn this wasn’t their first date, after all…

I was initially “meh” on this one, and still kind of am, but it at least has a somewhat original plot. The “twist” is kind of stupid, but almost chilling in a way, and it’s one of the few tales that works within the confinements of the blink-and-you'll-miss-it time format. It’s not great, but it utilizes its limited resources better than most, and would probably work stretched out closer to feature length.

The Lake: If you like your horror to have a little bit of romance with it, well then this is the only short you need to watch. A couple are hiking up a hill in the middle of nowhere, and are sidetracked when they see a meteor crash land a short distance away. The woman suggests they go and check it out…with bad results. There's a slight creepiness to the entire affair, and the final shot is pretty cool, if not entirely foreseen. One of the better ones.

Missing: A mother is distraught over her missing daughter in one of the only shorts that has a human element to it. I thought it was going to build up to something special, but like everything else in this godforsaken collection of turds, the escalation just leads to a ridiculous ending that’s just plain stupid. Out of the entire collection, this one has the most gripping intro (and a great central performance), but it's sabotaged by its own ending.

Well, there we go…if you’ve made it this far, congratulations! Also, if you made it this far, you really don’t have to see any of these episodes - they probably took you as long to read them as the episodes are on screen. And since they're all awful, you wouldn't be missing out on much.

Now, I realize anthologies are going to be hit-or-miss by nature - when you have multiple directors (in this case 28) working on separate projects, you’re bound to have a wide variance of ideas and quality of execution. It’s just a matter of fact. I also realize the short running times of each one are more of a hindrance than anything, as there's really no time to fully flesh everything out. However, what are the odds that so many could be this terrible? Not to mention the wide variance in moods of the tales - which are grouped in no particular order - help ruin things the rare times it manages to build up momentum. This rivals ABC's of Death as the worst anthology series I've ever seen. It's truly abysmal.

And the idea that season 2 could be just as bad - or (gasp) even worse - might just be the most horrific part of this show, period.

RATING: 2/10.

Bite Size Halloween: Season 1, Part 1 (2020) (Hulu)

My wife and I were browsing the "Hulu-ween" selection on the popular streaming service when this option popped up. I had never heard of it despite being relatively in tune with available horror options. At first I thought it was because it was a new show, but apparently I'm super-late to the party; the first season was released last year.

Since there are a whopping 28 short films in the first season of Hulu's "Bite-Size Halloween", we're just going to break these down into two separate reviews for ease of reading. And I know what you're thinking: "But it's past Halloween!" So what? It can be argued that winter is even creepier than the time of year when leaves are changing colors and landscapes look beautiful. Because in winter, everything is a barren, desolate wasteland.

Some quick notes: I feel kinda stupid assigning numerical scores to each individual short...after all, most of them are the length of a movie trailer, and have no time for the proper development of characters, or rich story arcs. Therefore, I won't be doing that for each episode, instead giving a final score of the entire series. Deal? Great...now let's get down to business, shall we?

Visible: The first story of the long-winded series is one of the best: After a rather annoying, almost stereotypical start involving a black teen in what appears to be a rougher neighborhood, in a basketball court, it shifts gears. A girl tries playing basketball, only to discover there are four ghosts surrounding her, trying to play the same game she is. Then there’s a twist that’s been done to death. I was ready to chalk this up as an average episode, but the final line (and final reveal) actually packs a human touch, something sorely missing from most other “episodes”.

Mena: A sad, pathetic man takes a DNA test promising to show him “what makes him special”. He eagerly takes it, desperate to give himself some self-worth…and ends up making things worse in the process. This one starts a very concerning, very consistent blend of lackluster story and lackluster execution. The premise is flat and the weird attempt at humor is every bit as depressing as its pitiful main character.

Reborn: Unlike “Visible”, a good final shot can’t save this tired tale of a girl who’s disinterested in being baptized…because she holds a cliched, horrible secret. Rather predictable, and the short running time doesn’t really give it any time to spread its wings and become its own. 

Okay, I have a question 3 “episodes” in: the lengths of these episodes all seem to vary, from 3 minutes, up to 13 for the longest one (which occurs in season 2). Why didn’t more episodes take advantage of a longer running time? A lot seem content with sticking the three-minute length, which gives no time for any kind of setup or character development. Maybe they just wanted to get it over with and move on, a feeling that should be all too familiar for the viewer.

Devil Vac: A woman receives a vacuum (sexism!), only to realize it has ties to the titular entity. Not funny, and the title gives away the only thing that could have been a surprise, although, even then, it still wouldn't have been funny. We'll chalk this one up as another bomb.

Mondays: An old woman attacks a young man in this hilarious installment! Just kidding...it's fucking awful. There’s a promising setup, involving a man who shuns an old lady trying to get on an elevator, but then it devolves into lowest-common denominator humor, that buys into the lame (and incorrect) notion that old people doing young people things is the pinnacle of hilarity ("Look at that old woman dance!" "That old woman swearing sure is hilarious!" "Look at that old woman having sex with..." Okay, I guess there are limits to that theory.) Come on, it's 2021, and this junk was already tired five years ago.

We’re not even a fifth of the way through these and I’m already regretting this decision wholeheartedly. However, all anthologies are hit or miss, so maybe they’re just saving all the good ones for the end? I mean, if true, that makes no sense, but still…I’m holding out some kind of hope here. It's all I got left.

Jane: A forensic sculptor - one who recreates 3D masks of unidentified victims based off written details - is caught off guard by her latest work. It’s obvious, and it doesn’t quite work considering its predictability, but I will say the mask is creepy. Not creepy enough to make this worthwhile, but sadly creepy enough to make this one of the better ones. Even though, to be clear, it's not all that memorable.

Monstagram: Horror should be all about the surprising, and this one partially manages to pull that off, with one of the more shocking sequences of the entire season. A kid in a bathtub warns his mother not to post a picture of him to social media, or else she will face the wrath of "Monstagram" (stupid name), an entity that attacks people for posting certain things online. She ignores him, and of course suffers the consequences. The final shot of the kid is tacky, and another example of the kind of banal humor that's all to prevalent here, but there is a rather graphic scene that caught me off guard. Ironically, it’s the most gruesome story of the whole season, and it's centered around humor. This kicks off another negative consistency that appears in many other stories: Bad CGI monsters that are frequently meant to be taken seriously. This one is more tongue-in-cheek, so it's not as distracting as in some other episodes, but the computer effects are still bad. I'd be interested to see what the budgets were for the episodes: if it was more than $100, I would be shocked. 

Creat(e)ure: All I wrote in my notes for this one is “terrible creature, terrible joke, awful, worst one yet,” and I can't for the life of me remember what this one is. Oh! I think this is the one that actually makes fun of one of the qualms I mentioned in my previous review (CGI monsters). It’s a promising setup, but done in such an unfunny way that it makes one cringe instead of laugh. Just an all-around low in a series that’s already overflowing with them.

The Mime: A guy pisses off a mime, and suffers the expected consequences. This one is an example of filler, which accurately describes almost the entire season. It is done with a tongue-in-cheek feel, rather than playing out as full-on horror. But that decision does nothing to overcome a lame, unimaginative idea.

We’re coming across yet another theme here, and we’re not even mercifully to the midway point yet: The “feel” of these stories varies across the board. Even if these were good shorts (and, to be clear, they’re not), the series would suffer as a whole because it jumps from comedic stories, to ones that actually attempt to be scary, and/or make a serious point. Obviously, I’m fine with varying the content, but they should have at least separated the comedic ones into their own season, or lumped all of them together in the first half of the season (or vice versa).

Gregory: A man refuses to get off the plane, so the stewardess threatens to sick “Gregory” on him. Jesus Christ yet another pathetic tale that’s played more for laughs than scares, and fails at eliciting anything but annoyance in the viewer (or, in my case, blood-boiling rage, but I assume that's just me).

Don’t Go Down to Wildor: A young adult receives a distress test from his brother, who seems trapped inside an old house…but of course that house is not what it seems. This one is quite rare in that it actually has potential - the required use of his phone to see what the house really looks like is inspired, and could have led to something great - but the CGI monsters and tired story completely ruin anything it had going for it. That’s a shame.

Okay, are we halfway through yet? Because I’m about done with these. Oh, and another criticism: I can’t stand how each short has to half that long-winded intro for the show after every episode. Come on, couldn’t they insert them after every 3-5 episodes? There’s literally a gap about the length of a full episode between the end credits from the previous episode, leading to the intro of the next episode. Once again, if this series was any good (and, to be clear, it’s not), this would have been another momentun-ruiner to detract from its effectiveness. The fact that it sucks makes it merely one more reason to hate it. 

Stray: This one is one of the better ones: A mother tries keeping her daughter away from the Pied Piper, only to have her succumb to its creepy call. The mother tries saving her, only to discover it was (thankfully) all a dream…or was it? I wouldn’t consider any story to be genuinely “good” (well, maybe a couple), but this is one is easily top-5 material, mainly because it's the only one that manages to pull off a feeling of creepiness. Again, the short length prevents it from being anything approaching "frightening", but it's at least proof that a 3-minute short can be something other than boring.

NYX: Wow, have we just strung together two above-average stories in a row? Two astronauts - a man named Juno, and an unnamed female - are onboard a spacecraft. Well, one of them are: Juno is outside the ship, while the female keeps in contact with him via the onboard radio. The two remain in constant communication…until things go silent. The woman panics and tries sending a distress call, only to receive communication from Juno. But is it really him? This one avoids the main transgression of other stories, trying to show too much (i.e. CGI monsters) by showing nothing; it is also one of the few that stays completely within the horror genre, and is one of the better ones for it.

Landline: A woman finds a vintage phone at a yard sale, and we flashback to the previous owners and how it ended up there. The flashbacks have a funny ‘80s vibe, and it does manage to be the best of the comedic ones, but the use of the modern day framing device really isn’t necessary. In fact, if you think about it, the final "cliffhanger" doesn't really make sense at all. Still, it's passable, and a rare light in this neverending tunnel of darkness.

Tomorrow, we'll take a look at the remaining 14 shorts (ugh), and assign the series a final score. Does this series end on a high note, or is it just more of the same? Hint: it's definitely the latter.

Dave Made a Maze (2017)

Director: Bill Watterson
Writer(s): Steven Sears and Watterson
Starring: Meera Rohit Khumbani, Nick Thune, Adam Busch and James Urbaniak

Dave is a thirtysomething man with a hot girlfriend, who feels like he hasn’t accomplished anything with his life. He seems like a man who’s riddled with ADHD: he fills his free time with a variety of crazy ideas, which he quickly abandons the moment he has ideas for his next one (something to which I can sadly relate all too well). 

After his girlfriend, Annie, leaves him alone one weekend, he decides to build a fort out of cardboard boxes. From the outside, it looks like a simple little creation; creative, but more a waste of time than anything else. But when Annie tries to lure him to come out, we learn that it’s not quite as simple as it seems - on the inside, it’s a massive multi-room, booby-trapped hellscape featuring a minotaur who craves human flesh. Worst of all: he can’t find a way out of his own creation.

He tries dissuading his friends from coming in to help rescue him, and risk getting lost (or worse), but eventually, they realize there is no other choice. Against Dave’s wishes, they enter - a merry band of misfits including his nerdy best friend Gordon, Annie, a documentary film crew (?) who want to make a film about the motivations behind his creation, and even a couple of Swedish tourists (??).

If it all sounds dumb, that’s because it is…and that’s the point. It’s clearly not meant to be taken seriously. And that’s part of what makes Dave Made a Maze so special: its freewheeling creativity. The fort's massive interior is filled with origami birds, dangers made out of cardboard (yet that pose a serious life-or-death threat to the protagonists), and blood made out of what appears to be papier-mache (or a similar material). There’s even a scene where the characters turn into hand puppets, an unexpected addition that only adds to its unique charm. The end credits feature animated versions of all the characters of the movie - living or dead - as they wave to the camera; it feels like the cinematic equivalent of a post-performance theatrical bow. It all feels like the quiet daydreams of a young child, the kind where they dream of being the hero, coming to the aide of the damsel (or damoiseau, which I just learned is the male equivalent) in distress, while avoiding monsters and traps. It's like a throwback to the innocence of childhood, long before the dark shadows of adulthood take hold, and threaten to ruin one's natural curiosity. And that nostalgic quality is part of what makes the whole film feel special.

Also lending itself to the experience is the cast - who are uniformly committed to the sometimes bizarre material - and the set design, which is an absolute work of art. The maze itself almost becomes another character, feeling like a living, breathing entity that helps to maintain the film's whimsical attitude. It looks and feels like an A-movie in a B-movie's body, thanks to its attention-to-detail and the obvious care with which it was made.

Now, there are some things working against its fevered frenzy of seemingly endless imagination: It comes mainly in the form of the documentary film crew, and Dave’s dramatic on-camera diatribe about the reasons he made it. The film’s director, Harry, spends the whole film trying to maximize drama and tension, utilizing a boom operator and cameraman (who randomly spits out sunflower seeds almost every time we see him) who follow him wherever he goes. He’s the typical kind of douchey on-screen filmmaker, played for laughs but frequently crossing the line into annoying. Yes, part of that is the point - and by the end he almost becomes likable - but it doesn’t make him feel any less clichéd, and his hapless, bumbling helpers (a boom operator and cameraman) don't help matters any.

The minotaur - who is a buff man with a cardboard head - is also rather pointless, although I guess they needed some kind of immediate threat beyond the constant stream of booby-traps. He shows up at random, pre-planned times to scare the main characters, but feels more like a character in one of those Halloween haunted houses, where part of the effectiveness is lost by performers who aren't allowed to touch the participants. 

There is a small body count, but once again, the papier-mache violence isn’t the point. It’s the banding together of several outcasts, in order to save one of their own, and the often humorous struggles they encounter along the way.

Despite its confusing billing virtually everywhere as a “horror” movie, Dave Made a Maze fits more comfortably in the “fantasy” genre, a throwback to ‘80s adventure films like The Goonies, and Labyrinth. That's because that's what it's meant to be. It’s goofy, it’s funny, it’s silly, and perhaps most importantly, it’s fun. Maybe that misleading connotation is why it unfairly came and went without so much as a peep when it premiered four years ago; this is the type of cult movie that deserves a following. Fans of true horror, or those that like their storylines to be more grounded in reality, won’t find much to like here, but those who seek a film with a laid-back non-pretentious, un-douchey arthouse vibe definitely will. 

RATING: 8/10

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The Dark and the Wicked (2020)

Director: Bryan Bertino
Writer(s): Bertino
Starring: Marin Ireland, Michael Abbott Jr., Julie Oliver-Touchstone and Lynn Andrews

The Dark and the Wicked, at its core, is a somewhat familiar tale of a family who live in an isolated farmhouse. Such stories are becoming more and more commonplace with the recent success of films like The Witch, and this one feels like it was inspired by Robert Eggers' popular horror film: aside from the location, the film's droning score and constant sense of dread feel very similar. However, whereas The Witch is a notorious exercise in slow-burn horror that certainly isn't for everybody, The Dark and the Wicked - once it gets going - is an almost unrelenting attempt to terrify and shock its audience. 

This film centers around two siblings who are summoned to their parents’ house to care for their dying father. One would think their mother would be happy to see them, but she constantly appears nervous and on edge; like someone - or something - is always on her mind. So anxiety-ridden is she that she constantly warns them to leave, and tells them that they shouldn't have come. It doesn't take long for them to see why: Almost immediately strange things begin happening, and as we can tell from the frequent shots of the prone father lying in bed, chances are good he somehow has something to do with it. 

The relatives brush it off at first, but they can only brush it off for so long. It starts off as merely creepy happenings - chairs moving around, lights turning on, and far-off sounds in the distance; things that can be nervously laughed away. But eventually, the innocent happenings take a turn for the sinister, and the siblings realize they should have heeded their mother's warnings. Is all of this linked to the dying man lying in the bedroom? Or are the dark forces that are lingering around after someone else entirely? 

There aren't really many twists to the basic storyline, but the story isn't really the film's focus. Much like the plotlines for slapstick comedies are just a way to throw in as many jokes as possible, or the setups for porn are just excuses to have people copulate in a variety of interesting ways, the sole reason for The Dark and the Wicked's threadbare plot is to disarm the viewer with an almost unrelenting series of inexplainable phenomenon: Once the scares start - and they start fairly early on - they rarely let up. 

Part of its effectiveness is that it doesn't rely much on jumpscares, which is a welcome change from the norm. However, the sheer effort it undergoes to petrify its audience actually works to its disadvantage at times. While that might not sound like a legitimate issue - this is a horror film, after all, and horrifying the audience is the name of the game - the attempts come so often that we almost become desensitized to them. Don’t get me wrong, the experience as a whole is frightening, but it becomes slightly predictable within its own universe as it wears on. Furthermore, some of the scare sequences just feel like lazy writing: In what could probably be considered a minor spoiler (so don't read it if you don't want to know anything about it...and you shouldn't), hallucinations make up a good portion of the terror sequences in the second half, and it kind of feels like a copout at times. The scenes are really well done - and a couple are beyond effective - but it's also further proof that the story really doesn't mean anything.

That being said, there’s an atmosphere of dread that permeates virtually every scene, and the film does a great job of pulling you into its world; it's the kind of film where your heart sinks every time the sun goes down, because you know something terrifying is going to happen. I haven't felt that feeling since I saw the original Paranormal Activity over a decade ago (during its limited release and before it blew up and went viral).

Surprisingly, at least to me, this was written and directed by Brian Bertino, the man responsible for The Strangers. Outside of one or two scenes in that one, I wasn't very impressed with the end result. Here, he proves he has the capability to maintain a sense of dread throughout the entire runtime. Even during the sequences where you know something is coming, he still manages to make the payoffs work more often than not.

If you're a fan of horror, this is almost required viewing. It builds up - and more crucially, maintains - the dread of a "slow burn" tale, while throwing one malevolent scene right after another at the audience. It doesn't always work, but it works well enough that, chances are, there will be at least one scene that sticks with you when the memory of the rest fades away.

RATING: 8.5/10