Perversions of Science S1, E4: The Exile

Starring:
Jeffrey Combs as 50557
Ron Perlman as 40132
Christopher John Fields as Adolph Hitler
Brian Brophy as Investigator
Jeff Corey as The Judge
David Warner as Dr. Nordhoff
Oscar Dillon as Jailer
Craig Olsen as Lupita
Jae Woo Lee as Coopersmith
Maureen Teefy as Chrome

Written by: David J. Schow, based on the "Weird Science" comic books, by William M. Gaines

Directed by: William Malone

Before I dig in to the specifics of this episode, I must once again express shock at the level of talent that “Perversions of Science” was able to garner, despite being--without question, really--a terribly subpar television series. For example, in “The Exile”, we are treated to Jeffrey Combs, Ron Perlman, and David Warner (you might not recognize the last name, but you will recognize the face the instant you see it--that dude’s been in everything) in the main roles. Granted, Combs is kind of a B-rate actor, known mainly for his work in the Re-Animator series, with a couple of other horror films to his credit, but still, even for a show like this, that’s a pretty solid grab. And Ron Perlman might not have been the mainstream hotshot that he would eventually become (especially after Hellboy), but this show nabbed him during his strong rise--so while the rest of the show was pretty lackluster, credit must be given to casting, who, at least up until now, has been pretty on point.

Anyway, “The Exile” tries to cram a lot of ideas into not a lot of time. It all begins with Jeffrey Combs’ character, who we believe to be a doctor, trying to convince a woman that he has found a way to remove people of their inconsistencies--she’s unfortunately being told this as she’s tied up under one of his heavy machines. Essentially, he “burns away” their physical problems. Well, judging from the police raid that interrupts the discussion he’s having with his poor, defenseless subject, this whole thing isn’t entirely legal. And judging from further discussions that take place later in the episode, he doesn’t actually “cure” his subjects of anything: he merely kills them.

Following the police raid, he is captured and placed into prison, where he is given the prisoner code 50557. That’s where he meets Dr. Nordhoff (Warner), a scientist who seems to be obsessed with “rehabilitating” him, which as we can assume, means “curing” him enough to return to society. You see, murder in the future is a very rare offense, with many of those responsible for carrying out the crimes able to be “treated” and placed back into the normal world. But should rehabilitation fail, the subject is forced to be “exiled”, a punishment that is frequently mentioned, but kept a secret until the end.

As it turns out, 50557 is that rare killer, one that is proud of his accomplishments, and refuses to be “fixed”. Dr. Nordhoff tries electro-shock therapy, but that doesn’t work, and with his hearing with a judge just two days away, he is desperate to find something that works, lest he be “exiled”. Well, of course nothing works, and he is sent before the judge. And as can be expected, his laundry list of prior felonies and crimes, not the least of which is the murder of 41 people, can only be punishable by “exile”.

I won’t reveal what “exile” is, because that’s the whole point of the episode. But needless to say the finish isn’t anywhere near as revelatory as it thinks it is, or tries to be. Along the way, 50557 is coached by prisoner # 40132 (Perlman), a successfully rehabilitated murderer himself, who is waiting to be placed back into a society he is now ready for.

As with many of the episodes, the strengths here lie mainly in its acting: Combs seems only capable of overacting--I mean, he‘s pretty much built his entire career around it--but given this relatively low-grade material, his performance works. Meanwhile, Warner and Perlman are just reliably good. They don’t really go above and beyond in any way, but again, given the fairly-lame premise and writing, and sometimes painfully low budget, it’s better than what the material deserves.

After getting off to a strong start with “Dream of Doom”, it’s quickly becoming apparent why this show failed so quickly: the plots are very straightforward, and none of them really push the envelope the way HBO audiences of the late ‘90s were expecting them to. In other words, there’s very little sex or violence in any of these, with language being the only reason most of these even reached a TV-MA rating. “The Exile” is the perfect example of this, with some foul language, and some random (non-sexual) boobies at the beginning, all captured in an idea that’s only minorly fascinating.

A stray observation: At this point, I’m also starting to think just how stupid the “Chrome” intros are, with her constant barrage of double entendres and clearly-sexual movements. For an episode like “Boxed In”, it makes sense to have her introduce the segment, because that episode itself had a lot to do with sex. In episodes like this, however, she just seems tacked on in a desperate attempt to appeal to the late-night crowds that were watching HBO at the time--which, namely, were pretty much younger guys and creepy old men (and babysitting teenagers like me) who were just looking for something to appeal to their libidos. I get it--that was probably the point--but judging from this show’s mere 10-episode run, it didn’t work. And while it’s far from the only thing wrong with the show--it probably wouldn’t have lasted no matter what--it’s curious to me that they didn’t at least try to get rid of those random intros, or substitute them for something else. I guess they were trying to mold Chrome into the next Cryptkeeper, only to no avail.

EPISODE RATING: 3.5/10

FULL EPISODE

Would You Rather? (2012)

Director: David Guy Levy
Writer(s): Steffen Schlachtenhaufen
Starring: Brittany Snow, Jeffrey Combs, Sasha Grey, and June Squibb

The only reason I was interested in seeing this is because we used to play a similar game at work.  Our point was to be as graphic and disturbing as possible, which I figured was the entire point of the game, and so with that in mind, I figured that would basically be the whole point of this movie.  It kind of is.  But what I didn’t expect from a film based entirely around cold, calculating violence, was one so predictable and formulaic; going in you already know there can only be one survivor: (SPOILER ALERT) Could it be the woman who is billed first in the credits, and the only one whose backstory is fleshed out in the beginning? (END SPOILER)

Even beyond that, the final twist is foreshadowed long before it actually happens, and both my wife and I called it well before it was revealed.  In a good movie (and I have one in mind to use as an example, but don’t want to reveal it for fear of giving away too much) such a twist can have a profound, draining effect on the viewer; in a movie like Would You Rather, it just feels like the filmmakers were throwing around cynical ideas, and hoping one of them would stick.

But in order for something to resonate with the viewer, there needs to be at least one prerequisite:  You must have characters that the audience can cheer for.  The bland writing does nothing to further that agenda.  Sure, we have characters (well, mainly one) that we’re supposed to cheer for, and they certainly try their darndest to follow every little detail in the “How to Create a Likable Character” guidebook, but they only succeed in creating a sugar-coated, one-dimensional stereotype, rather than a fully fleshed-out character.  She’s plain-looking; not so gorgeous that women will get jealous of her, but not so ugly that people will laugh at her, either.  She has a heart of gold, which we can tell from the way she holds the door open for a lady in a wheelchair.  And she’s such a great person that she takes care of her sick brother, despite the financial and emotional strain it takes on her.  There’s not really a problem with any of this stuff, except that they cram it all into the only ten minute block they allow for character development.  We get it, she’s such a perfect little angel who does nothing wrong, so we’re supposed to cheer for her.

I didn’t.

That girl is Iris (Brittany Snow), and just a few minutes into the movie, she gets an invitation from a rich man, Shepard Lambrick (Jeffrey Combs), to join him for a dinner party.  He knows that she is taking care of her brother, and is desperate for money, so he explains that she will be playing a game, and if she wins, he will take care of her, and her brother, for the rest of their lives.  Her own doctor, who was a previous winner, pushes her into accepting, which she eventually does.

We already know where this is headed, and so she’s joined by a cast of characters ranging from terribly unlikable (Amy, loosely played by Sasha Grey), to annoying and unlikable (old paralyzed Linda), and slight variations, or combinations, of each.  In the only genuinely shocking thing about the movie, John Heard is in it—no doubt to get people to say “Oh wow, John Heard is in it!”—but he knows how to game the system; he’s the first one killed, and probably the one that was the most handsomely paid.  I guess that’s a perk of having a 40 year career in Hollywood.

Not surprisingly, things start of relatively tame: Contestants are given the choice of either shocking themselves, or shocking another contestant, then, also not surprisingly, gradually get worse from there.  It all develops exactly the way you think it will; there are a couple attempts at curveballs for the viewer, but they’re as sloppy as a fast food burger, and won’t fool you even for a minute.

The performances are wildly uneven, with Jeffrey Combs good, if not maybe a little overboard, as the sadistic party host, while former pornstar Sasha Grey is embarrassingly bad as Amy.  I like my women trashy, so I thought her “mystery woman” persona was pretty hot, in a sleazy kind of way.  But every time she opens her mouth…well, you can see where the whole “acting in porn” jokes come from.  They do kind of combat it by not giving her many lines, instead letting her personality develop by mostly showing her reactions to the various events, but when she does say something, it’s nothing short of cringe-inducing.   The rest of the cast, save for ol’ paralyzed Linda (who reminded me a lot of Charlie’s mom in “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia”, though that character is played for laughs), give at least passable performances; Brittany Snow, in the lead as Iris, is no better or worse than your average horror movie heroine, screaming and crying a lot, without being given much else to do.

Whether or not you will like this depends on your predisposition to bland, lifeless horror movies.  There are actually a few people I know who don’t mind clichéd predictability in their films; this kind of person might find something to like here.  Those that want a little kick with their horror, should definitely look somewhere else.

RECAP: Predictable, with the typical gradual increase in horror, and an overreliance on shock attempts, Would You Rather takes an interesting premise, and puts it through the “Hollywood Formula Machine”; the occasional moments where it attempts to counter the banalities of the horror genre are clumsy, and rather transparent.  In other words, it’s a shocker, only without the shocks.  Sasha Grey, as Amy, is also notably bad, though the other performances are mostly passable.  Speaking of “pass”, take one on this.

RATING: 3/10

TRAILER