Omri Katz as Marshall Teller
Justin Shenkarow as Simon Holmes
Mary-Margaret Humes as Marilyn Teller
Francis Guinan as Edgar Teller
Julie Condra as Syndi Teller
Jason Marsden as Dash-X
Ray Walston as Ned
John Astin as Radford
Harry Goaz as Sgt. Knight
Gregory Itzin as The Mayor
Written by: Michael Cassutt
Directed by: Bryan Spicer
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The creators of "Eerie, Indiana", Jose Rivera and Karl Schaefer, have made no attempt to hide the fact they are into conspiracy theories and cover-ups, and now they confront one head-on: the Illuminati. Only, of course we're not dealing with it on a global scale, but rather a scaled down version as it pertains to Eerie, and Marshall Teller specifically.
In this one, his father has joined a weird, secretive society that is all geared toward...well...corn. They wear corn-shaped hats on their heads, pass around popcorn, have a leader referred to as a “kernel”, and sing a song called “Hail to Thee O' Ears of Splendor”. Since Edgar is a new member, he is being “initiated” into the group, which involves being whisked away to a secret room, to do God knows what. Well, Marshall, who is viewing all this from the window of the building (why would such a secretive group use a first-floor building with a wide variety of windows?) desperately wants to get in...until they are confronted by someone who doesn't take kindly to their snooping!
Oh wait, that's just Dash-X, who once again randomly shows up simply to move the plot along. He just started his job as a waiter in the Loyal Corn building, and is going to have the kids removed, until they bribe him to let them in. Always game to fatten his wallet, Dash agrees, sneaking them in through a window. That's when they discover that the bartender, an old man who also functions as Dash's supervisor, is in every single lodge picture dating back to 1915...and he looks exactly the same in all of them! Clearly, there's more going on here than meets the eye...
Conveniently, all the members leave the lodge, heading to Edgar's house to grab a “part” necessary for an unspecified project, which leaves the lodge unattended...except for Dash, Simon, and Marshall, that is! The trio find a large color-changing crystal hidden away (“This looks like one of those hokey, new-age crystal things. My sister has one almost that big. She thinks it'll get her a boyfriend,” Marshall explains), and link it to an open slot on a machine that oversees a massive television screen. As Simon and the crew find out the hard way, that crystal can open a portal (via the TV) to other planets, and before we know it, Simon is stuck freezing on Mars!
The secret lies in Edgar, who is working on a universal remote of sorts that will allow people to come and go freely from inside the television monitor (or something like that). Meanwhile, his wife Marilyn is getting fed up with all this “corn” business, and threatens to prevent him from completing work on the weird device. But if he never finishes the remote, then Simon will be doomed to spend the rest of his life on a foreign planet! That can't happen, can it?
As it turns out, and spoilers be here ahead, the bartender is an alien being, after all. But he is not here to destroy our planet, but merely to explore it. The episode ends with him being summoned back to his home planet. Dash wants to go with him (as they creepily share the same “Dash-X” symbols on their hands), but is told that the answers to all of his questions—namely who he is and where he came from—lies in Eerie. These are, sadly, things that the series never found the time to answer, and honestly, questions that were never all that convincing to begin with. (Why do we care, considering this is a character that just popped up randomly, and with no warning?)
This is an okay episode, teeming with mysteries, but with an ending that feels way too standard for a sci-fi themed episode. Actually, the whole thing just feels standard, with a rather lackluster story, and an unconvincing “race against time” to save Simon. Once again, Edgar and Marilyn, who witness all of the bizarre events inside the lodge (including Simon being rescued from Mars, and the old bartender returning to his home planet) forget everything by morning, on account of them wearing the corn hats, which control their thoughts. I know that's the point of the show—that only Marshall and Simon are attuned to what's going on, while the brainwashed adults are completely oblivious to the weirdness—but it gets frustrating that the show teases us by including Marshall's family in on the bizarre happenings, only to just have them “forget”. I use this phrase often, but the show feels too smart to resort to these kinds of lame tactics usually reserved for lesser kids' shows.
This one started off with some promise—the introductory scenes in the corn lodge are appropriately weird and clearly hint that something isn't right—but the otherwise conventional handling of the material makes this feel like “Twilight Zone Light”. That might be up the alley of some, but to me, the show was always at its best when it was subverting, rather than catering to, the needs and wants of its target demographic. It was a show that, on its surface, was geared toward children, but deep inside, seemed to want to be accepted by adults even more. “The Loyal Order of the Corn” just feels like the show was on autopilot at this point, and while it's not a terrible episode, it's a far cry from the flashes of brilliance this show always liked to tease us with.
EPISODE RATING: 5/10
FULL EPISODE
