Blue Ruin (2013)

Director: Jeremy Saulnier
Writer(s): Saulnier
Starring: Macon Blair, Devin Ratray, Amy Hargreaves, and Kevin Kolack

A viewing of Jeremy Saulnier's breakthrough feature, Blue Ruin, was preceded a couple of days earlier by my second viewing of Dead Man’s Shoes; both films, while focusing on aspects of revenge, couldn’t be any more different in the way they go about it. Maybe that’s part of the problem for me, because while the rewatching of Dead Man’s Shoes only seconded what I believed the first time--namely, that it’s a damn near flawless revenge flick—a first viewing of Blue Ruin proved to be rather disappointing. And while comparing movies in a review is no doubt frowned upon, if for no other reason than it disregards one of its own merits, I’m going to do it anyway, simply because I feel the comparisons are important in explaining why I feel the way I feel about this film.

Now, there is nothing intrinsically wrong with the way that Blue Ruin goes about laying down its story: whereas Dead Man’s Shoes becomes more of a slasher film, where the success of the vengeful brother is never in doubt, Macon Blair’s Dwight is a nervous everyman whose obsession with righting a wrong drives him to excessive lengths. His vulnerability adds a layer of depth that’s missing from the Taken’s and even the Dead Man’s Shoes of the world; it actually ends up being the film’s greatest asset.

Dwight is a nomad, sleeping out of his car, when he is approached by a police officer and taken into an interrogation room. But he is not in trouble; she is merely informing him that the man responsible for killing his parents, a Wade Cleland, is being released from prison, and felt that he should be in a stable, safe place when he heard the news. It seems revenge has never left his mind, and before we know it, he is following the newly-released prisoner to a club. There, he waits in the restroom for his chance to strike—and after a brief struggle, he emerges victorious.

He becomes suspicious when there is no news coverage of the murder: Everyone close to either person knows that it was Dwight who did it, because he has been motivated to kill Wade ever since he went to prison, for reasons that will only gradually become obvious as we move forward. He figures that associates of Wade will most certainly be coming after him, or members of his family, to even the score. One night, while Dwight is staying at his sister’s house (she has fled with her children), members of the Cleland clan come a-knockin’ on the door. He manages to injure one and escape, but not without taking some damage of his own—an arrow to the leg.

He eventually goes to a hospital to have it treated (after an agonizing scene in which he attempts to fix it himself), and after releasing himself, tracks down an old high school friend, Ben. Ben actually ended up being far and away my favorite character; a tried-and-true, loyal friend who is willing to help Dwight in any way that he can, without so much as a question. So great is his drive to help Dwight, that it takes Dwight stealing his car battery to prevent Ben from following him and putting his life on the line, over a situation that doesn’t involve him in the least. (Fun fact: Devin Ratray, who plays Ben, was Buzz McCallister in the first two Home Alone movies; he proves he has matured as an actor, as he delivers a solid performance as a likeable guy.)

This is where the writing hits its peak: the relationship between Dwight and Ben feels completely natural and organic. Just from watching the two men interact with each other, you can feel the strength of their bond. Granted, a lot of this falls on the actors for bringing the words to life, but the writing is fluid and convincing, and when paired with the performances, this easily became my favorite part of the film.

Up until now, things have seemed pretty straightforward, but that is not necessarily the case: Blue Ruin slowly reveals gradual twists and revelations along the way, that keep both Dwight, and the viewer, on their toes. One of them is something that I’ve always expected to see in a revenge film, but never have. It didn’t quite have the resonance for me that it could have if, say, it were the main twist, but I applaud the filmmakers for trying something new to try to invigorate the crowded revenge subgenre. (I will not reveal specifics on what it is, because part of the appeal is discovering it on your own.)

In the end, though, I must confess that Blue Ruin just didn’t do a whole lot for me. The twists and turns don’t really, in my opinion, amount to all that much, and when all was said and done, they felt like smoke and mirrors, masking a story that's pretty conventional to begin with. A couple of the points and ideas that it presents, namely that the nature of vengeance is ultimately pointless, and how one person’s decision can destroy so many others, are certainly topics worth exploring; I just felt its structure was rather lackluster and unrewarding, as it slowly rolled its way to its expected destination.

Despite this, there’s no doubt that there’s loads of talent both in front of, and behind the camera, and I’ll still be keeping an eye on Saulnier’s career (Green Room, which was his follow-up to this, became a small hit and hit almost all of the notes for me that this one missed). This film seems to have been a hit with critics (no surprises there), and word-of-mouth seems to be creating additional buzz. So while I found Blue Ruin to be mostly dry and unengaging, it’s clearly from the mind of a promising filmmaker.

RECAP: There are occasionally moments of effectiveness, but I found Blue Ruin to be a little too dry and unengaging for my tastes. The plot builds slowly, with minor revelations gradually being revealed, but once the puzzle is all put together, there wasn't enough there to justify Dwight's behavior. Part of that, that revenge is pointless and unsatisfactory for a myriad of reasons, is no doubt the point, but considering I had to use up my own personal time to follow along with the story, his waste of time also became mine. Dwight is the perfect antithesis of the standard revenge-fueled protagonist--nervous and all-too-human, rather than an invincible superhero—which leads to some tension in a couple of his confrontations, but it all just feels too linear, and conventional, to leave any sort of lasting impression. I hope I don’t sound too hard on it, though, because writer/director Jeremy Saulnier clearly has ambition and talent, and even though I was disappointed with this, I’m still eagerly looking forward to his future releases.

RATING: 5/10

TRAILER

Eerie Indiana, S1 E16: The Loyal Order of Corn

Starring:
Omri Katz as Marshall Teller
Justin Shenkarow as Simon Holmes
Mary-Margaret Humes as Marilyn Teller
Francis Guinan as Edgar Teller
Julie Condra as Syndi Teller
Jason Marsden as Dash-X
Ray Walston as Ned
John Astin as Radford
Harry Goaz as Sgt. Knight
Gregory Itzin as The Mayor

Written by: Michael Cassutt
Directed by: Bryan Spicer

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The creators of "Eerie, Indiana", Jose Rivera and Karl Schaefer, have made no attempt to hide the fact they are into conspiracy theories and cover-ups, and now they confront one head-on: the Illuminati. Only, of course we're not dealing with it on a global scale, but rather a scaled down version as it pertains to Eerie, and Marshall Teller specifically.

In this one, his father has joined a weird, secretive society that is all geared toward...well...corn. They wear corn-shaped hats on their heads, pass around popcorn, have a leader referred to as a “kernel”, and sing a song called “Hail to Thee O' Ears of Splendor”. Since Edgar is a new member, he is being “initiated” into the group, which involves being whisked away to a secret room, to do God knows what. Well, Marshall, who is viewing all this from the window of the building (why would such a secretive group use a first-floor building with a wide variety of windows?) desperately wants to get in...until they are confronted by someone who doesn't take kindly to their snooping!

Oh wait, that's just Dash-X, who once again randomly shows up simply to move the plot along. He just started his job as a waiter in the Loyal Corn building, and is going to have the kids removed, until they bribe him to let them in. Always game to fatten his wallet, Dash agrees, sneaking them in through a window. That's when they discover that the bartender, an old man who also functions as Dash's supervisor, is in every single lodge picture dating back to 1915...and he looks exactly the same in all of them! Clearly, there's more going on here than meets the eye...

Conveniently, all the members leave the lodge, heading to Edgar's house to grab a “part” necessary for an unspecified project, which leaves the lodge unattended...except for Dash, Simon, and Marshall, that is! The trio find a large color-changing crystal hidden away (“This looks like one of those hokey, new-age crystal things. My sister has one almost that big. She thinks it'll get her a boyfriend,” Marshall explains), and link it to an open slot on a machine that oversees a massive television screen. As Simon and the crew find out the hard way, that crystal can open a portal (via the TV) to other planets, and before we know it, Simon is stuck freezing on Mars!

The secret lies in Edgar, who is working on a universal remote of sorts that will allow people to come and go freely from inside the television monitor (or something like that). Meanwhile, his wife Marilyn is getting fed up with all this “corn” business, and threatens to prevent him from completing work on the weird device. But if he never finishes the remote, then Simon will be doomed to spend the rest of his life on a foreign planet! That can't happen, can it?

As it turns out, and spoilers be here ahead, the bartender is an alien being, after all. But he is not here to destroy our planet, but merely to explore it. The episode ends with him being summoned back to his home planet. Dash wants to go with him (as they creepily share the same “Dash-X” symbols on their hands), but is told that the answers to all of his questions—namely who he is and where he came from—lies in Eerie. These are, sadly, things that the series never found the time to answer, and honestly, questions that were never all that convincing to begin with. (Why do we care, considering this is a character that just popped up randomly, and with no warning?)

This is an okay episode, teeming with mysteries, but with an ending that feels way too standard for a sci-fi themed episode. Actually, the whole thing just feels standard, with a rather lackluster story, and an unconvincing “race against time” to save Simon. Once again, Edgar and Marilyn, who witness all of the bizarre events inside the lodge (including Simon being rescued from Mars, and the old bartender returning to his home planet) forget everything by morning, on account of them wearing the corn hats, which control their thoughts. I know that's the point of the show—that only Marshall and Simon are attuned to what's going on, while the brainwashed adults are completely oblivious to the weirdness—but it gets frustrating that the show teases us by including Marshall's family in on the bizarre happenings, only to just have them “forget”. I use this phrase often, but the show feels too smart to resort to these kinds of lame tactics usually reserved for lesser kids' shows.

This one started off with some promise—the introductory scenes in the corn lodge are appropriately weird and clearly hint that something isn't right—but the otherwise conventional handling of the material makes this feel like “Twilight Zone Light”. That might be up the alley of some, but to me, the show was always at its best when it was subverting, rather than catering to, the needs and wants of its target demographic. It was a show that, on its surface, was geared toward children, but deep inside, seemed to want to be accepted by adults even more. “The Loyal Order of the Corn” just feels like the show was on autopilot at this point, and while it's not a terrible episode, it's a far cry from the flashes of brilliance this show always liked to tease us with.

EPISODE RATING: 5/10

FULL EPISODE

Attack the Block (2011)

Director: Joe Cornish
Writer(s): Cornish
Starring: John Boyega, Jodie Whittaker, Alex Esmail, Leeon Jones

Attack the Block is what happens when you take a Hollywood blockbuster, and simply transport it overseas; much like those films, what starts off fun gradually gets more and more grating as it follows the “big-budget sci-fi film checklist” almost to a “T”. I suppose that this is actually a compliment, albeit maybe a backhanded one, because I have to admit the movie looks every bit as good as a hundred-plus million dollar film, yet it was accomplished for a mere $13 million USD ($8 million GBP). How is it that, as American film budgets continue to spiral out of control, that overseas productions can manage the same look and feel, for just a fraction of the cost? I’m sure stroking the egos of Hollywood “stars” plays some kind of role in this, but for an industry that’s supposedly reeling from piracy, they sure refuse to tighten their purse strings under any circumstance.

One of the main areas Attack the Block is saved, at least as far as it being a downright bore is concerned, is in the likability of its cast. These aren’t some sci-fi film geeks that band together to stop an alien invasion, but a group of teenaged thugs that roam the South London streets, selling drugs and mugging anyone clueless enough to wander into their territory. Okay, okay, it's obvious that by the end of the movie, they will come around and turn out to be nice guys; that’s pretty much a foregone conclusion in a film like this. But even in the earliest parts, like right after stealing a woman’s phone and wallet (a woman who, as it also is assumed, will end up becoming a main character and will have to rely on them for help—and vice versa--later on), their banter is rather lighthearted and comical. They don’t come across like irredeemable thugs, but rather like normal teenagers, who unfortunately have to resort to such actions to make ends meet.

The leader of the gang is Moses (John Boyega), a “fifteen-year-old” (clearly much older…in this case, he was nineteen at the time of filming) who has dreams of rising up the criminal ranks. Right after the mugging, a meteor falls from the sky, smashing a nearby car. This sudden diversion allows the woman, Sam (Jodie Whittaker), to make a clean escape, while the gang investigates the cause of the noise. As most of you probably will be able to tell, it’s an alien. They chase it down and kill it.

Hoping this will get them some additional street cred, they take it to their weed dealer, Ron. Ron’s not sure what to do with it, so he consults with the local “boss” Hi-Hatz for advice. Hi-Hatz agrees to keep the alien corpse for now, until they figure out the next steps to take. In the meantime, he gives Moses some drugs to sell, offering him a chance to gain his respect if he can turn them.

Then, there’s another loud crash. And another. Then another. More and more aliens are crash landing to Earth, and the gang is all too eager to take them on! What we have had, at least up until around this point, is a charming film that, like the best works centering around kids and teenagers, made me want to be a kid again. While their carefree attitudes are, of course, putting their lives in danger, that’s really not the point—what boy hasn’t daydreamed about saving the planet from some kind of immediate threat? It's the kind of scenario that resonates with children everywhere, and the children inside everyone else. The teens each hit up their respective homes, load up on weapons, and ride their bikes to the closest crash site to take on the extraterrestrial threat.

Unfortunately, it is also around this time that the pure feeling of fun and escapism is ruined, and its formula is required to set in. Sam, who was driving around with the police, looking for the thugs, sees Moses; since he has the drugs that Hi-Hatz gave him, he is arrested while the rest of the gang watches on from afar, helpless to stop him. What could possibly happen to prevent him from going to prison? A well-timed alien attack, of course! So now it’s Moses and Sam remaining, street thug and previous victim, forced to band together to make it out alive. As more of the aliens close in on them, Moses takes off in the cop van, and in the ensuing chase, happens to run into Hi-Hatz’s car! Enraged, Hi-Hatz threatens to kill Moses and the gang (who by now have arrived on foot), but is again conveniently saved by attacking aliens. This cues yet another tired cliché: the required human villain. Even though Hi-Hatz sees the aliens himself, he remains so angry with Moses for ruining his car that he’ll stop at nothing to kill him. Yawn. Would it surprise you if I told you that he eventually meets his demise at the hands of aliens? Yawn.

Well there’s pretty much the rest of the movie from here: Kids fight aliens, kids kill aliens, aliens kill the occasional kid, cops arrest Moses, apparently unaware of the alien outbreak that’s been happening all around them, and then it all resolves itself in a happy ending. Barf.

As I stated previously, this starts off fun, but by about the midway point just seems more focused on running through as many familiar plot points, and storytelling devices, as it possibly can for the rest of the way. Like the scene where one of the kids, known as Biggz, bets the others he can jump from one stairwell to another, only to be talked out of it. I’ll bet there’ll be a scene later where he’s being chased by aliens and has no other choice but to attempt the jump! This always frustrates me. Out of all the possibilities of film, why is it that we seem to constantly be watching linear retreads of one another? It's like being allowed to roam free in a large castle, but confining yourself to the closet. Or being given an entire swath of land to explore, but staying in one spot because the rest is too scary and uncertain.

It might seem like I harp on predictability all the time, but these are the reasons why. It might not be irritating to some, but it's maddening to me. Here we are, in a time when pretty much anything imagined can be tossed on the screen, no matter the budget, and large amounts of filmmakers are just content to "follow the leader" and make something without a hint of originality whatsoever. I understand, and am pretty much in agreement, with the argument that "there's nothing completely original anymore." But does that really mean we should toss in the towel before we even try? Why make something that's already been done to death? It just defies all logic. Like owning an island, but never leaving the house to explore it (I can do these lame analogies all day, so someone please stop me.)

The only thoroughly original decision in all of this, can be found in the creature design. I can see where many would be put off by them (they look like furry gorillas more than the typical movie aliens we’ve come to embrace), but I thought they were fascinating; the added touch of having their teeth glow in the dark is inexplicably awesome. Gore effects are pretty few and far between, but are convincing (and pretty graphic) the rare times they are used, so some extra points are awarded for that.

I also nearly forgot to mention the soundtrack, by Steven Price and electronic music group Basement Jaxx, which adds to the film’s focus on rhythm and movement. There were no droning, creepy passages meant to evoke feelings of dread; instead, it’s all kept upbeat, with heavy bass beats converging with keyboards and, thanks to the addition of Price, more traditional orchestration. It really does a great job of accenting the film’s many action sequences (and makes a great elongated slow-motion escape scene absolutely epic).

In the end, there’s just too much familiarity for me to recommend it, and I quickly started losing focus the closer to the end it got. Those that just want a movie they can pop in and not have to think about will probably find a lot to like; for me, I don’t enjoy watching a movie for the first time, and feeling like I’ve seen it a thousand times already.

RECAP: The lead characters are likeable, the alien design is unique and inspired, and the soundtrack keeps everything moving along at a brisk pace. Unfortunately, everything else is just pedestrian stuff, with an unimaginative plot, and more clichés than there are attacking aliens; it’s all so predictable, chances are good that you’ll get déjà vu while watching it. I know there are many people that don’t mind that quality in a film, and if you are one of them, then chances are you’re going to get a big kick out of this. But for me, if I can keep predicting a movie as it goes along—unless there’s some other aspect so strong that it can make up for it—then there’s really no motivation for me to get caught up in it.

RATING: 5/10

TRAILER

The Possession of David O'Reilly (2010)

Directors: Andrew Cull, Steve Isles

Writer(s): Cull

Starring: Giles Alderson, Francesca Fowler, Paul McGuinness, and Zoe Richards

I don't think, in the entire history of cinema, that there has ever been a horror film where so little happens over the course of 85 minutes than in The Possession of David O'Reilly. It feels like an eight-year-old was given a video camera and three adults and told to make a movie that's scary; but in this scenario, it would be forgivable if the youngster failed. What's not so forgivable is this is the work of not one but TWO grown men, who have whittled the horror film down to a series of characters who seem to do nothing but scream and run. Also, don't pay attention to the title, because the only thing it delivers out of it is a character named David O'Reilly.

Alex and Kate are a couple living together in an apartment. One night, a man named David arrives. He is distraught, having just discovered that his girlfriend of several years was cheating on him, and didn't have anywhere else to go. He and Alex, you see, were old college buddies, and have remained good friends since then (he and Kate actually hung out with David and his now-ex girlfriend just two weeks prior, and note that everything seemed fine). Kate goes to bed early to let Alex and David have some alone time. The two of them spend a couple hours drinking and unwinding. David wants to tell Alex the story of how he discovered the affair: he was going through her things, looking for an address, when he saw lewd pictures of her that he never took.

Soon, Alex goes to bed, but David can't sleep. He thinks things are following him, and if he goes to sleep, he will allow these “creatures” to enter the house, where they will overcome him. So he spends most of the rest of the movie staring out windows and peering through doors, looking for things that only exist in his mind. If we're "lucky", we get to see some of the creatures he “sees” (the first one, which looks like something out of a “Silent Hill” game, is actually really creepy and well done; the rest are stupid as shit), but most of the time, he is just waiting for things that never arrive. Just like viewers who are watching this expecting some "entertainment".

Apparently, Alex and Kate can't hear their guest opening and closing doors all night, because the first night he's left alone to his own devices, David just moves around the unfamiliar house as loudly as possible. In the morning, David asks Alex if he heard anything, but Alex didn't. Way too gradually, Alex and Kate start noticing David's increasingly-erratic behavior, which was clearly irrational from the very beginning. Then a formula emerges: He sees something, and Alex thinks he does, too. They run and scream. Kate asks Alex what he saw, but Alex isn't sure that he even saw anything. The whole movie makes it pretty clear that everything merely exists in his head, because no one else ever sees or hears anything for sure, which kind of eliminates the need for a viewer at all.

Dialogue mainly consists of David saying, “They're trying to get in,” or “They're in the house,” or some similar variation involving “they” being somewhere close to “them”. Tensions flare. A random pregnant girl who lives upstairs makes an appearance for no reason, and then dies a grisly death, again for no reason. It's as if the filmmakers know they've made a shit film and are trying to keep the audience awake with random violence. It doesn't work. Meanwhile, David opens and closes a few more doors.

Finally, everything boils over, and that's when, instead of watching characters open and close doors and get frightened about nothing, we get to watch them scream and run from nothing, something made even more agonizing because David looks incredibly stupid when he screams, his large, gaping mouth seemingly open wide enough to swallow a watermelon whole. Kate constantly asks Alex what he saw, and Alex constantly says he doesn't know. Lights go out. Fuck it, I'm done.

I made a vow to reserve the “zero” point rating solely for films that, in my eyes, have no redeeming value whatsoever. For example, ones that feature graphic gore solely for the sake of gore, and have absolutely no artistic merit. So far, the only film that (I have reviewed and that) has met my criteria is A Serbian Film. I hate this film every bit as much as I hate that one, but in sticking with my own rules, I have to at least give it half a point for that cool first monster. And that's all it gets, because the experience of watching this movie—something I have done twice, including once in a theater—is an experience no one should have to suffer through at all.

You know, I give the film industry a lot of shit for allowing mediocre directors undeserving of attention the opportunity to thrive, often while ignoring the talents of truly great filmmakers. But when I see that Andrew Cull and Steve Isles, the two co-directors responsible for helming this worthless garbage, haven't written or produced another project since...well then I have to acknowledge that at least every once in a while, the industry gets something right.

RATING: 0.5/10

TRAILER

Eerie Indiana, S1 E15: No Brain, No Pain

Starring:
Omri Katz as Marshall Teller
Justin Shenkarow as Simon Holmes
Mary-Margaret Humes as Marilyn Teller
Francis Guinan as Edgar Teller
Julie Condra as Syndi Teller
Jason Marsden as Dash-X
Paul Sand as Charles Furnell/Simon Holmes
Anita Morris as Eunice Dunforth/Marshall Teller

Written by: Matt Dearborn
Directed by: Greg Beeman

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A crazed homeless man is confronted by a mysterious older red-headed woman, who proceeds to shoot him with a laser beam. Of course, this crime is witnessed by Marshall and Simon, who step in to prevent her from finishing him off: with police sirens looming in the distance, the woman gets into her car and speeds away.

Marshall and Simon know he's a weird guy, on account of his mumblings to himself, but think there might be something causing his bizarre behavior besides a mental disorder. So they take him to Marshall's house, shave off his facial hair, cut his head hair, and tell Marshall's sister Syndi to watch over him, under the explanation that he is Simon's uncle (a notion that doesn't seem to surprise Syndi at all). The duo then go out to look for clues as to his real identity.

Meanwhile, Dash-X stops by the Teller residence to get Charles, explaining to Syndi that he is Marshall's cousin. He meets with the red-haired woman, who promised him a cash reward if he could deliver Charles to her, alive and unharmed. Dash keeps his end of the bargain, meeting the red-haired woman at the old mill that presumably is the exact same one from “The Hole in the Head Gang”. Money is exchanged, and this is when they learn that the man that everyone believes to be so insane was actually the smartest man in the world. “Was”, until one of his own inventions, the Brainalyzer, stole all of his knowledge, leaving him to be the mumbling idiot that he is now.

Marshall and Simon stumble on the Brainalyzer, and the ensuing mishap causes Simon to become a genius! Things get further out of whack when, in an attempt to reverse it, Simon, Marshall, the red-headed woman, and the former genius, all get in the way of the machine and end up in a four-way body switch that really confuses things. As it turns out, the red-headed woman, who was the genius man's wife, never loved him, and was just using him in an attempt to cash in on his smarts. Dash-X steps in with a laser gun to save the day, and everyone is reunited with their proper brains.

The “brain control” idea is back here, although presented in a different way than it was in the superior “Just Say No Fun”. That had a cooler story that showed how brainwashing affected the entire town, diluting the idea of a dystopian society down for a younger audience. This one just aims for the more straightforward stupidity you see in kid's shows (the crazed homeless man just shouts out non-sequitur words and phrases, of which “my sharona” is a favorite, though that does tie in to the story later), and the effect just isn't all that interesting.

It also shows a rather grating issue that has been gnawing at me for at least a few episodes now, and that's the stupidity of the Teller family. I mean, the family banter and dynamics are better represented here than in similar shows of its ilk--a point that I have made clear many times before—but how many things do they have to see before they finally start to believe that Marshall is right and that Eerie is insane? For example, in the last episode, Syndi (Marshall's sister) saw a werewolf, but passed out and conveniently woke up without remembering what happened. In this one, Syndi is asked to watch “Simon's crazed uncle” (who is just the crazy homeless guy), and does so, without suspecting anything's up. Yeah, I suppose maybe it's to show that Syndi is dumb and goes along with anything, but for a show that seems to pride itself on being smart and different, the whole “dumb sister” routine just feels really unfair.

Speaking of unfair is throwing Jason Marsden in there as Dash-X, another character that never really has anything to do. Outside of the final episode, where his presence finally serves a clever point (but I'm not sure so much that it justified having him here in the first place), he seems interjected in these episodes solely as a lazy way for the writers to advance their plot. Need a character to learn some info? Just have Dash-X hanging around for no reason to eavesdrop! Do Marshall and Simon need saved? Have Dash-X show up out of nowhere! His ideologies and beliefs seem to change on a whim, making him a relatively worthless character. I don't dislike him--in fact, I actually like his gravelly voice and negative outlook on the world, all wrapped up in a world-weary teenaged kid—but he was doomed to fail from the outset.

“Eerie, Indiana” is a good show overall, but this is the episode where the foundation is showing a lot of cracks, and everything is threatening to completely collapse. Will it, or will the next episode put us back on track? I guess we'll just have to trudge onward to find out.

EPISODE RATING: 4/10

FULL EPISODE

Crimes of Passion (1984)

Director: Ken Russell
Writer(s): Barry Sandler
Starring: Kathleen Turner, Anthony Perkins, Bruce Davison, and John Laughlin

The first thing that pops up on the screen, immediately after pressing play on your remote control, are the words “A Ken Russell Film”. It's not very often that a credit serves dual notice as a warning, but Russell has always been known for his visual flamboyance and over-the-top fearlessness, and both of them are on display in Crimes of Passion, a hooker-falls-in-love-with-man film unlike any other. If you took Pretty Woman, removed all of the sappy hopefulness and lightheartedness, replaced it with both a healthy dose of cynicism, and Anthony Perkins as a maniacal street preacher, you would still be pretty far off from accurately describing this bizarre '80s concoction, but you would be getting warmer.

Kathleen Turner plays both Joanna Crane and China Blue: the first is what her coworkers refer to her as by day, when she holds a steady job working in a fashion design house, while the second is what her clients call her by night, when she throws on a blue dress and transforms herself into a self-described “$50 hooker” that focuses on fetishes. She shuns the safety of the safe, suburban apartment that she owns as Joanna, and operates out of a dingy, rundown studio in the city's red-light district, dressing up and playing roles that appeal to her paying customers.

Bobby Grady (John Laughlin), on the other hand, is a married man who's stuck in a sexless marriage with his annoying, frigid bitch of a wife. As the film opens, he is at a group therapy session, under the guise of merely being there to provide support to his friend, whom he came with. But all it takes is a little bit of ribbing from some females there before serious cracks start to show in his assurance that his life is perfect; it takes even less time than that once he returns home for us to realize just how miserable his existence truly is. She's an emotionless wreck of a woman, who's first reaction at everything he does seems to be rolling her eyes and sighing, while he recoils for a few seconds before trying again. According to him, they have been married for eleven years, and it's a wonder how he has even managed to last that long (although they do have two kids, so that is probably a rather large factor).

Bobby works at his own electronics repair shop, which doesn't bring in a lot of money; unsurprisingly, this is also a constant point of frustration from his wife, who seems to constantly be in want of material things that his meager income cannot provide. She urges him to work more so they can get the hot tub that only she seems to dream of getting, and nags him into responding to a job offer a friend had given him. It's a night gig as a private investigator. The owner of a fashion design house has noted that his business is losing money for the first time in twenty years, and is certain one of his workers has been selling patterns to competitors. His likely suspect is the shy, reserved Joanna Crane, who he feels is almost too good of a worker to be true; Bobby's job is to shadow her at night, to see where she goes and what she is doing in her free time.

From here, it's your standard sexually-repressed-married-man-turned-private-investigator-discovers-suspected-thief-is-actually-prostitute romance, as a series of events pull the two together for a steamy sexual encounter that shatters both of their worlds. For Bobby, it not only represents the first sexual encounter he has had in many months, but also the most open and honest; for China Blue, it represents the first time that someone was able to legitimately fight through her facade and catch her emotionally off guard. Through her character, she has made a secondary living out of anonymously manipulating men; the way they seem to long for her even after their paid time expires seems to be the only thing that gets her off. But her usual tricks don't work with Bobby—it's evident even as she denies it that she is reciprocating his feelings, a fact that clearly upsets her because it's the first time that she is not in control.

There is another, twisted piece to this already-complex web, and it comes in the form of disturbed street preacher Peter Shayne (an over-the-top Anthony Perkins). From the looks of things, Shayne has been a longtime fixture in these seedy city streets, rambling long-winded passages to sex workers and promising to absolve them of their sins, thus saving their souls. But for some reason, he takes a specific interest in “rescuing” China Blue, and begins to constantly stalk and harass her; things reach a peak when he (unknowingly to her) rents out the apartment next to her and installs peepholes, allowing him to hear and watch everything that she does.

I mentioned that Perkins is over-the-top as Shayne, but that wasn't a knock; it fits right at home with Russell's lurid vision. Reportedly, he molded himself so completely into his character, that he even became an ordained minister to help prepare for his role; he also allegedly sniffed nitrites before every scene, something that no doubt helped to bring an unhinged unpredictability to his character (indeed, the “piano scene” might just be one of the most effective villain moments in film history; it's so legitimately out of left-field, yet so convincingly portrayed, that it somehow simultaneously baffles, humors, and chills).

Turner and Laughlin also have great chemistry as the star-crossed lovers. The weakest link in the acting department would appear to be Annie Potts as Amy Grady, Bobby's whiny, empty shell of a wife. But I wouldn't be surprised if this was an intentional decision by Russell, to heighten her lack of appeal, and to succinctly summarize in just a few minutes of screentime how Bobby must feel having been married to her for the last eleven years.

The film's biggest drawback is that, once you look past the audacious visual style and vulgar dialogue, this winds up being too close for comfort to your average, everyday thriller. Russell is always keen on tossing in some unexpected visual surprises, such as an in-your-face music video for Rick Wakeman's “It's a Lovely Life” that comes out of nowhere, but no such attention is paid to the script, which meanders along the obvious path, and ends on an interesting note; “interesting” only in how noteless and truly uneventful it really is.

Speaking of Wakeman, his score (which is entirely based upon Antonin Dvorak's symphony, “From the New World”) is fantastic. It seems to catch a lot of flak online (much to my astonishment), and I'm generally not a fan of synth-heavy music at all, but there are some choice cuts here, like the aforementioned “It's a Lovely Life”, or “Eastern Shadows”, which accompanies a rather long sex scene. His music sets the appropriate mood, without sounding too dated, an impressive feat for any '80s score, made even more amazing by one so reliant on keyboards and the sounds of the times. It's truly an underrated work that really heightens Russell's own visual approach and makes it all stick together as one cohesive unit.

This isn't Russell at his best, nor is it Russell at his worst: it's just Ken Russell, period. His wild, carefree directing style never aimed to impress with pinpoint accuracy, which means his films frequently went all over the place, as if seemingly on a whim. It doesn't always work, just as Crimes of Passion doesn't always hit the mark, but this fearlessness and refusal to bow down to the “laws” of film (not to mention good taste) is what made him a truly underrated director. That, and his under-acknowledged knack for frequently bringing out the best in his leads, making him not only the stylish, confrontational visual tour-de-force for which he will always be remembered, but also a true actor's director.

RATING: 7/10

TRAILER

Eerie Indiana, S1 E14: Mr. Chaney

Starring:
Omri Katz as Marshall Teller
Justin Shenkarow as Simon Holmes
Mary-Margaret Humes as Marilyn Teller
Francis Guinan as Edgar Teller
Julie Condra as Syndi Teller
Jason Marsden as Dash-X
John Astin as Radford
Stephen Root as Mr. Chaney
Gregory Itzin as The Mayor

Written by: Jose Rivera
Directed by: Mark Goldblatt

-----

It's the day of the Harvest King selection, and as usual, Marshall is not feeling the bizarre Eerie tradition. What exactly is the Harvest King, you may be wondering? Excellent question! Every thirteen years, the town's “elite” (The Mayor, Mr. Radford, and a mysterious man named Mr. Chaney are the selectors this year) pick a citizen of Eerie to go out into the woods and look for the Eerie wolf. Why? It's all part of the town's superstition—if no one goes, then they believe that the town's crops will fail and they will suffer bad luck. The only problem with this whole theory, is that no one who has been selected the Harvest King has ever returned from their trip to discover the Eerie wolf. Even creepier: no one seems to care.

But the ever-acute Marshall wants no part of this weird ritual, and seems to be the only person not buying a ticket for the chance to become the next King. Well, he's the only one besides Dash-X, who is now in every episode from here on out. In this one, he is first seen during the Harvest King festivities, stealing cans of food from the World o' Stuff. Mr. Radford sees him, and he storms out of the building, only to return later on that night to overhear the three-person committee prepare to make their final selections. The mayor casts a ballot for Dash-X, hoping he gets selected so they can get rid of him (although he still doesn't have a name at this point, so they simply write “The Kid With The Gray Hair” on the ballot). Once they leave for the night, Dash-X mischievously scratches out his “name”, and replaces it with Marshall Teller. And guess who “wins”!

At first, he is the most popular man in the town, with women throwing themselves at him and farmers offering him cows (!). But before he has a chance to truly bask in all the attention, it is time for him to head to “Wolf Mountain”, with the mysterious Mr. Chaney in tow. It doesn't take long to discover why: as the full moon beams down on them from above, Mr. Chaney turns into a werewolf! He's about to make Marshall his next meal, until—SURPRISE!--Dash-X shows up and knocks him out from behind with a swift log to the head. It seems someone was spending time at the library, and uncovered old newspaper clippings from previous year “winners”, which all stated the earlier Harvest Kings went for a “trip to Spain”, which is a euphemism for “were killed”.

Rather than kill the beast, Dash, Marshall, and Simon all bring him to Marshall's house and tie him up in the kitchen. While he's still unconscious, Marshall wants to pay a visit to the “powers that be” and, along with Dash-X, show up to the World o' Stuff, where Mr. Radford and the mayor are very shocked (and somewhat disappointed) to see that he is still alive. Marshall threatens to reveal the secrets of the Harvest King to the whole town, to which the mayor bluntly replies: “This town...heck, this whole country, has a long tradition of looking the other way. The Warren Commission, Watergate, Iran-Contra, the October Surprise...the people don't want to know about this stuff, because if they knew about it, they might have to do something about it.”

This is a brilliantly truthful line that I'm surprised actually made it into the final cut. Granted, it probably went over children's heads way back in the early '90s, but now with the joys of the Internet, anyone can look up and learn about these “conspiracy theories”, many of which have more than a modicum of truth behind them. Hell, we have to look no further than a few months back to find the latest example of an “October Surprise”, in which the FBI decided to reopen its probe against Hillary Clinton, an announcement that supposedly cost her the election (nevermind the fact she was a terrible candidate who felt she was entitled to the presidency thanks to her many “connections”, but we'll go along with the mainstream explanation). Who knows the things journalists and government workers know, but will never reveal for fear of their lives. It's really quite a hard-hitting, audacious line to spring on its impressionable audience.

Meanwhile, back at home, Simon gets sidetracked from his werewolf-watching duties by a delicious pie, and that's when the werewolf wakes up. He grabs Simon, and is about to munch down on him when a clueless Syndi enters the kitchen, groggily grabbing a banana. The werewolf's growl startles her, and she screams before passing out. This, in turn, startles the werewolf, who leaves the house (by running right through a window).

Radford arrives, moved by what Marshall said, and vows to help them stop the Eerie wolf. Armed with a rifle and silver bullets, they head back up to Wolf Mountain, where they discover the wolf/Mr. Chaney. One well-timed shot to the foot turns Chaney back into a human, presumably for good, while Marshall's only side effect from getting slashed by the Eerie wolf are super-hairy sideburns. The end.

This is a decent episode in concept and execution. It's not as funny as “The Hole in the Head Gang”, nor as powerful or thought-provoking as some of the better eps (I hate to always have to quote “Heart on a Chain” as an example, but examples don't get more powerful or thought-provoking than that), but it's perfectly watchable and has its moments. The wolf transformation, which seems to have been done digitally, is actually better than similar effects in a lot of low-budget fare from the same time period; I was actually surprised at how decent it looked, especially for a kid's show.

It really just boils down to the same old complaints: Syndi is given nothing to do besides scream and pass out in this one, but then with the caveat that she conveniently forgets everything she's seen upon waking up. Which, you know, was "only" a werewolf. Dash-X is once again a pretty pointless character who flips and flops between “good” and “bad” with no real reasons why. I don't hate the character, but he certainly doesn't seem to be needed. It's an okay entry in the series, but nothing of note from within it.

EPISODE RATING: 6.5/10

FULL EPISODE